truth

I'm exhausted and it's making my snappy

I can't take a nap because I only have enough restless leg meds for night time, and I need to it to sleep. I can only afford to buy enough for night time because I don't have insurance coverage.

I'm struggling with insomnia, so even though I'm tired, and I go to bed, I lay there for a while before I fall asleep, or I come downstairs and sleep on the couch so I don't bother Brian.

I'm trying my best to rely on God and look at the positives and make the best of having my kids home all the time, but sometimes it's just too overwhelming and I have a meltdown because It's too much.

At least my husband is taking responsibility for when he keeps pushing my buttons and then I snap at him, and he walks away. But he knows I asked him to stop multiple times and He didn't listen.

It's frustrating sometimes when I have to take off my pants or something in order to sleep better, and then my husband can't keep his hands off me, so I don't sleep well.

….

It's not tiredness.. it's complete and utter exhaustion. And it doesn't stop. And you can't catch up. Sometimes I'll be grateful that I don't have to set an alarm and I won't. So instead of getting up before the kids to have some quiet time, I trade it for letting my body rest.

….

chronic fatigue does not go away.
it's always there.
even if you thought you are doing ok.. if you don't pace how you use your energy, it just drags you down.

And even the best husbands and kids can be in the line of fire.

….

I love my family, but this is so hard.
Doing my best to rely on God and take the best care of myself that I can.