Acid Head

 https://www.google.com/search?q=lyrics+to+acid+head+by+tourniquet&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari

Johnny is a chemist's son
But Johnny is no more
What Johnny thought was H20
Was H2SO4

Water cleans the system
Acid eats the flesh
Squirm yourself much deeper
Into the pit of selfishness
The burn of death is what you crave
I'll gladly bow and be your slave
To serve you all the days I live
My chemical god to you I give

Acid head - walk like the dead
Acid head - life in the red

Pacify your emptiness
It becomes more, you become less
All the platitudes you need
Planted by the demon seed
Hurting only me not you
To those around, it isn't true
The life you wreck is not your own
He grieves upon His holy throne

Acid head - walk like the dead
Acid head - life in the red
Acid head
Acid head - walk like the dead

Walk like the dead
Life in the red
Walk like the dead

Close the book, it's time to die
Don't get up, don't even try
Think about your soul instead
Where will you be when you're dead

Johnny is a chemist's son
But Johnny is no more
What Johnny thought was H20
Was H2SO4

Acid head - walk like the dead
Acid head - life in the red
Acid head - walk like the dead
Acid head - life in the red

what is righteousness? spirituality? holiness?

“Righteousness, in human standards, is defined as “the quality of being morally true or justifiable” 

https://www.christianity.com/wiki/christian-terms/what-is-righteousness.html

What's the difference between religion and spirituality? ... Religion is a specific set of organised beliefs and practices, usually shared by a community or group. Spirituality is more of an individual practice and has to do with having a sense of peace and purpose.

Www.ideas.org.au 

 1 : the quality or state of being holy —used as a title for various high religious dignitaries 

His Holiness the Pope. 

2 : sanctification sense 2. holiness. adjective, often capitalized.

https://www.christianity.com/wiki/christian-terms/what-is-holiness-what-can-be-holy.html

Read below

“We instinctively sense that God’s holiness has dangerous overtones. His purity calls our sinful attachments into question, demanding that we forsake them in order to enjoy the greatest of all goods—belonging to a God of infinite love and power. To come casually with our hearts grasping tightly to the sins we cherish or to come lightly as though they are no big deal, might be like throwing ourselves onto a roaring fire with the expectation we will not perish. How, then, can we—sinful and broken human beings—hope to come into the presence of a holy God and survive the experience?“

what does “have faith“ mean?

 What Does It Really Mean To Have Faith? - Guidelines ...www.guidelines.org › devotional › what-does-it-really-...

This is a really great article.

It is the battle of the tangible versus the intangible, the seen versus the unseen, the material versus the spiritual. - Harold Sala

https://www.wanderlustworker.com/5-reasons-why-having-faith-is-so-important/

Faith is the connecting power into the spiritual realm, which links us with God and makes Him become a tangible reality to the sense perceptions of a person. ... Faith is the tangible essence of what is hoped for - so tangible that the faith itself, is the evidence/reality of those things that are not yet visible. (Wikibooks.com)

Similar words for have faith in: (thesaurus)
have confidence in (verb) rely (verb) swear by (verb) trust (verb)

“To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.” — Thomas Aquinas

Spiritual warfare is..

 From my notes during the conference Equipping Godly Women - Armed and Dangerous

Www.womenfindinggod.com

Spiritual warfare is how the Bible describes His kingdom vs. the kingdom of the enemy. 

Good vs Evil

We fear spiritual warfare because of lack of knowledge. Fear is actually a trick of the spiritual world. You don’t push fear or question fear. 

Truth - Satan’s name means accuser.

He is the father of lies, there is no truth in him, he’s a liar. 

1. He is not to be feared, he is to be subdued. He has already been defeated. You can put him under your foot. Satan is a created being. Satan has limits, he can only be in once place at a time. Satan wants me to be constantly busy, he doesn’t want me to rest. He is subtle.

2. God never loses a fight. He has already won. He is constantly with us and in us. 

Because you are God’s child you are a threat to Satan, you can’t get out of this. 

“I don’t want to mess with the devil so he won’t mess with me.” That’s not a choice. 

The more he messes with you, and the more you try to ignore it instead of push against it, the more he backs you into a corner and screws with your mind. 

God commands us to take control and manage our thoughts. Our thoughts are important because they shape our realities. 

Thoughts -> emotions -> beliefs -> decisions -> actions -> results. 

Inside us is a sin nature. We have to push against what our nature wants us to do in order to be purified in Christ. It has to be ongoing, we can’t do it once and be done. Satan won’t stop attacking, so we need to suit up (put on God’s armor) and fight the battle daily. 

We are blessed with peace and hope when we manage our minds. 

We can enjoy God’s peace when we focus our thoughts on Him. We can steal our peace back from the devil when he tries to take it from us. 

Remembering what God has done for us before gives us hope for what we are in right now. We may be in the middle of a fight... BUT... he has always been beside us to help us win. 

What we focus on grows. 

WHAT WE FOCUS ON.. GROWS.

Bible study is not an obligation, it’s a privilege. We get the opportunity to dive into what God has spoken, learn what he said to those people in those times in history, take those lessons and be able to apply it to our now. 

Prayer will not always feel good. Being a disciple of God literally takes discipline. 

But when something is worth knowing and learning and applying, we make the time and we prioritize it accordingly. And when we apply it, God’s word will cause conviction, so we are able to listen to the Spirit inside of us, and know what we need to work on and change. 

Prayer is a conversation.. God is real, Jesus is human, he’s not an unattainable entity, you’re speaking to a friend. This relationship is not dependent on us. God was in relationship with us before we knew about Him, like a child having a parent and not knowing the parent until they grow up. They are your parent, whether you know it or not. He created you and is your Heavenly Father, whether or not you accept it and talk to him and read what He says. 

Bible verses on pride and humility

Proverbs 16:5

The Lord detests all the proud of heart.

Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.

Proverbs 16:18

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 16:19

Better to be lowly in spirit along with the oppressed

than to share plunder with the proud. 

Proverbs 18:12

Before a downfall the heart is haughty.

but humility comes before honor.

Proverbs 21:4

Haughty eyes and a proud heart-

the unplowed field of the wicked- produce sin.

Proverbs 21:24

The proud and arrogant person - "Mocker" is his name-

behaves with insolent fury. 

Proverbs 25:27

It is not good to eat too much honey,

nor is it honorable to search out matters that are too deep. 

Proverbs 26:12

Do you see a person wise in their own eyes?

There is more hope for a fool than for them. 

Proverbs 29:2

When the righteous thrive, the people rejoice;

when the wicked rule, the people groan.

Psalm 10:4

In his pride the wicked man does not seek him;

in all his thoughts there is no room for God. 

Psalm 138:6

Though the Lord exalted, he looks kindly on the lowly;

though lift, he sees them from afar. 

Romans 12:3

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you:

Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought,

but rather think of yourself with sober judgment,

in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 

Romans 12:16

Live in harmony with one another. 

Do not be proud, but be willing to associate

with people of low position.

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,

it is not proud.

Daniel 5:20

The queen, hearing the voices of the king and his nobles,

came into the banquet hall.

"May the king live forever!" she said.

"Don't be alarmed! Don't look so pale!"

Galatians 6:1-3

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin,

you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.

But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

If anyone thinks they are something when they are not,

they deceive themselves.

Karma

Don’t leave it to chance 

You're lucky

Rabbits foot 

What goes around comes around

"Karma's a bitch"

What is karma?

Karma is a Sanskrit word meaning “action.” It refers to a cycle of cause-and-effect that is an important concept in many Eastern Religions, particularly Hinduism and Buddhism.

In its essence, karma refers to both the actions and the consequences of the actions.

Importantly, karma is not set in stone, is not out of our control, and is not indirect. By this, I mean you don’t do good things with hopes of getting a randomly good outcome (karma is not doing your chores this week in hopes of winning the lottery).

Instead, it means that the steps of your life, your spiritual development, and your personality are directly molded by your thoughts and actions. Present you affects future you.

https://ideapod.com/heres-great-explanation-karma-really-means-can-improve-life/

So me in my past life effects me in my now life, and me in my now life effects me in my future life?

When did I start living? How do I know which lifetime I'm in? 

How do you die and become another being?

That's confusing.

I think I would rather take my chances knowing that the God of the universe already has my days planned, and it's not up to my goodness or lack of goodness to determine my future. 

And thank you God that I only have one life. 

I wouldn't want more than one. 

This one is hard enough. 

Yes, there is still an effect to what we do, things come from what we cause, but I don't believe that's parts of my eternal future. God forgives me for anything wrong I do if I only ask. Instead of having to rely on myself for my own checks and balances, He's got my back.

vase versus vase

 Vase (v-Ase)            <------ (that's how I say it)

or VOz

How do you say it?

https://mocastore.org/products/reversible-glass-vase-by-block-design

These are so cool! 

Reflection

I created this post because of some lightbulb moments initiated by Christine Caine. I printed out a 5-day renewal Bible study by her, and it really helped.  

---------------------------

"Letting go is better than erasing your past, denying it, outrunning it, or escaping it."

Boom. 

Letting go can be SO HARD though. 

Believe me, I know. 

"Can you look back on your life and see how God was working when, at the time, you felt like your lift was stalled"

When we first moved into our home, for over a year, I felt very stale/stagnant... I was having trouble connecting spiritually. I had also just been through the process of moving, changing jobs, moving the kids to another school in the district, and realizing now, dealing with so much at one time, and one of my daughters having trouble (figuring out she had a transition disorder, later being part of what led to her diagnosis of ASD). Even though I was prepared and excited for the move, it took me a long time to internally find my footing. 

I tried to read the Bible, I tried to journal, I tried to pray but I felt like something was in the way. So grateful that eventually, I was able to feel the Spirit and hear God again. 

(Part of this has to do with myself being on the Autism spectrum and not knowing it. Communication and adjusting to changes is intimidating and difficult, no matter what. It actually made it easier that I was ready and happy for these changes to happen.)

"How can your past disappointments, pain, and suffering equip you to help others?"

Using my struggles and my revelations to talk to other people. 

Sharing research and knowledge from the years I've had to put in the time to understand and know things, God has given me a yearning for other people to know these things as well. To be able to share information on a large scale without having to physically speak in front of people. 

God has given me the platform of social media as a ministry, and I'm SO SO grateful. 

I think of it as my burning bush. (Reference Moses in the Bible.)

God told him to go, showed him a miracle, and said "I will be with you always and tell you the words to say" because Moses had a problem speaking to people. (I Believe he had a stutter or some type of communication problem.) Ding Ding! I do too! 

God has given me the tools to do His work, and even though I have a verbal communication problem, I have a HUGE platform that stretches across the world to anyone who needs to hear ANYTHING He tells me to say. 

So as long as I listen and do what He tells me (last year He gave me the word "follow"), whether I'm uncomfortable or confused by it, it doesn't matter. Whether I stumble over my words or not, real struggles and real life things are... real. And that's where He's put me. 

To be real, and to share real. Which is right up my alley, because I'm a realist. :) A Christian, heterosexual, Bible reading, LGBTQ loving, gardening, nature loving, realist. 

And all I want to do it show people that.. life is real, in so many ways. And we can all work together and live together and love together and... 

:) 

Together. 

pride vs confidence

I’ve always had a cringe reaction to people saying things about themselves like “that’s because I’m awesome” or agreeing wholeheartedly when someone says something great about them. I have a feeling some of it is because I’ve had a traumatic past with a skewed view of humility. 

https://bibleinoneyear.org/bioy/commentary/1305

This has been helpful to me. 

Instead of being arrogant and thinking pridefully of ourselves, letting other people talk us up to a pedestal, and then think the world of ourselves... We should be thankful and graciously accept kind words of course. But watch what it does to the size of your brain. 

It’s great to be confident, to know your strengths and weaknesses, to use them to your advantage. 

I'm so sick of hearing "be a good person"

When God made everything, it was good. It was perfect, it was created exactly how it should be, it was just right. 

But since the fall of man and woman (Adam and Eve), humanity is naturally bad... not good. 

And actually, there is no such thing as being a “good person”. 

This bothers me so much because the only thing that is actually good is God. Nothing else is or can be good, because goodness comes from positive morality, and man is morally stained. 

https://www.fanawards.com/important-bible-verses-good-person

This blog does a great job of breaking down specific verses and explaining what they mean about goodness. 

The definition of good indicates a need for someone else outside of us to approve of us.. and morally inept humanity cannot give true approval, since what we approve of will be sin stained to some degree. And having an advantage of some sort also means that there has to be some sort of man made totem pole of morality, also. So good is, really, a relative term. 

 

Now there are positive people, yes! There are courageous people, humble, generous, loving people. But there are no good people. 

Eating scrolls

EZEKIEL 3

1And he said to me, “Son of man, eat what is before you, eat this scroll; then go and speak to the people of Israel.” 2So I opened my mouth, and he gave me the scroll to eat.

3Then he said to me, “Son of man, eat this scroll I am giving you and fill your stomach with it.” So I ate it, and it tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth.

The imagery here is actually pretty great. Eat/digest the words you are given. Let them become part of you, let your “meal” be healthy words, words that are delicious, words that should be shared with other people. Words that give nourishment that are good for the soul. 
 

I first heard this term a while ago, but didn’t really pay it much attention until a year or so ago when a friend of mine’s dad contacted me about taking some photos for his ministry. And his websites name is Warp and Woof. So I decided to find out what it means. 

Apparently the warp and woof of something is the fibers, the pieces that make up a whole. The warp goes one way, the woof goes the other, so like fabric it’s woven together. It’s strong because everything fits together perfectly, like all the small pieces were meant to weave just right. 

So when Mark Eckel writes on his website www.warpandwoof.com, he’s writing to help all people understand the pieces, fibers if you will, that fit together in God’s word. So there can be better understanding of the questions we have about faith and God and all the parts.

Www.Bible.com

 

warp and woof

---

The essential foundation or base of any structure or organization; from weaving, in which the warp — the threads that run lengthwise — and the woof — the threads that run across — make up the fabric: “The Constitution and the Declaration of Independence are the warp and woof of the American nation.”

yin and yang ☯️

A friend of mine and I were recently talking about things that could be positives and negatives, and he described his experience with a certain topic as yin and yang. This made me curious. I’ve always had a curiosity about the reason for YIN and YANG, and what they really refer to. Obviously, it’s a popular visual, but the meaning and where it came from are intriguing.  

In Ancient Chinese philosophy, yin and yang (/jɪn/ and /jɑːŋ, jæŋ/; Chinese: 陰陽 yīnyáng, lit. "dark-bright", "negative-positive") is a concept of dualism, describing how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another.^[1] In Chinese cosmology, the universe creates itself out of a primary chaos of material energy, organized into the cycles of Yin and Yang and formed into objects and lives. Yin is the receptive and Yang the active principle, seen in all forms of change and difference such as the annual cycle (winter and summer), the landscape (north-facing shade and south-facing brightness), sexual coupling (female and male), the formation of both women and men as characters and sociopolitical history (disorder and order).^[2]

Www.Wikipedia.com

conversation - ugly entitlement

 

Writing back and forth to a friend of mine, a conversation that can be had and should be had and thought of by all:

Being honest, your flawless beauty is intimidating today. I felt the need to put on coverup because of my breakout. I feel fine now. I’m blaming you for being beautiful. 

We tend to see our own humanness in a bad way. It’s not even flaws, it’s just being human. 

Just another reason for us to feel like we’re not enough, right? As if somebody outside of ourselves has a right to create our own expectations. Probably another reason I loved the rugged beauty of nature. Nobody tells everyone is ugly, how would they, how dare they. 

Nobody tells nature that it’s ugly. And we are nature. 

Because humanity has a voice and we process differently than everything else in nature, we feel like we can say whatever we want and a have an entitlement to be heard. And if people don’t act in what we consider a positive change according to our own voice, we see that as negativity and ignorance. 

Entitlement and privilege are a major human problem. 

Words 1

The sound of the crackling radio, the air as it splits on the window thats rolled halfway down. The rumble of the tires let me know that I am moving, that I am pushing the pedal, that I am nearer to my destination as I was a second ago and further away from the silence and the cool of a minute ago. Torn between the two worlds… The busyness of my family home and the rustling openness of the weeds in the breeze where humans are not.

The different worlds constantly clashing in my mind, letting me know that I am part of them both, it’s a pull back-and-forth like red rover as a child. Or maybe it’s more like tug-of-war where I want to be both places but I can’t be split down the middle. Not unless I’m a paper doll. 

I take a deep breath and blow back out, feeling like it was forced exasperation, but at the same time also trying to force myself to be calm, help me with the tightness from anxiety I feel in my chest. I am almost there.

I’m halfway home. Train tracks that beckon me to take a turn and drive a more rocky road.

I want to stay out until dark, and then when I go home to where I lay my head, I would like to take a drink of the wine in the box that is waiting for me for the right time. But I would like to do that in the silence of an empty house. That will not happen… For I have a family. Family that I love… Really I do. They are a blessing, not a mistake, but at times there’s just too much.

The church steps to my left mock me with the fact that nobody is running up and down them, they are silent and still. The street light that tells me to turn right, for that is the right way to go. Right, right?

It’s so hard to know that true peace can only be found in the silence with my hour in the morning when I am the only one awake… True peace can only be found when I sit by the heater with my Bible open and know that my soul can be at rest because I can connect with the most amazing force of being.

Mom mom mom mom Cami ding buzz ding I need you. I need you mom. I need me too… Sigh. Time to get out of the car.