Wednesday, May 19, 2021

The Sinners Prayer

It’s not in the Bible.

"Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior."

Salvation is a gift.
You don't earn it or deserve it. 
You have to humble yourself. 
You have to confess your sins. 
You have to know that you are a sinner, that there's is no good in you, without God, without the Holy Spirit. 

It's not about groveling. 
It's about having faith like a child. 

Matthew 19

Jesus Blesses Little Children

13  Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. 14  Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." 

Red letters are Jesus words. 
The children are excited and clamoring to be close to Him. They know he is love, they know he is wonderful. They know He is unique and tender. 

We cannot gain salvation on our own. 
But once we know we have a need for it, and bring all of ourselves to the foot of the cross.. It's given as a gift. 
His grace covers everything. 
"Jesus, I need you. I am a sinner and I am nothing on my own. Forgive me of everything I've done wrong and be Lord of my life. I submit to you."

Romans 10:13 New International Version

13  for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."[1]

But, but, but..


You don't have to be eloquent
Moses had a stutter

You don't have to be a good writer
or a speaker
or a teacher

You can be anything from a plumber to a CEO
You can be a disabled mom who used to be a seamstress and a customer service rep and an athlete :) 
If you are called to speak
God will enable you

There are parts of us that like the sadness.. why?

Self preservation
Trauma response

We want to continue feeling the pain
because it's comfortable
it's what we know

Feeling "okay" and "happy" is foreign
We don't know what to do with it
So we cling to things that hurt us



visuals are powerful


 

This image makes me think of a couple different things. One, all the different voices that come out us in society and we try to listen and filter out but it becomes too much and we can’t.

The other thing it makes me think of as living as an autistic adult in such a loud and chaotic world, again so many different things that are being shouted at us and we can’t hear it without becoming overloaded because there’s just too much. It sounds like a big mumbled tornado/vortex that’s just going to rip us apart.

The need to be needed

 Sometimes I wish I didn't have such a need for approval. Or want for other people to like what I do. But I have to remind myself as well, even in the Christian faith, we were made for community. We were made to need each other. Maybe not in certain ways, but there's nothing wrong with me wanting somebody to like what I'm doing. 

And I was made with a need for affirmation. A love language of mine. A main one. I need to be OK with that. 

Approval is okay to be wanted and needed. It becomes a prison if you structure yourself and your life around the approval, losing yourself in it. If you can't experience happiness without the approval fix. 

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

why do we think of weakness as being a bad thing?

are we allowing ourselves to acknowledge where we are weak?
or are we tying to avoid it altogether? 

why is it not okay to be weak?
wouldn't that be like not allowing ourselves to be human?

it's no wonder we have problems with being intimate or vulnerable.
we shield so much of who we are, cut out the emotions that make us cry, because we don't want to be seen as anything but confident and strong. 



Knowing your own strengths and weaknesses gives you a better understanding of yourself and how you function. ... Knowing your weaknesses gives you a clearer understanding of things that may be holding you back, and you can then work around finding ways to not let your weaknesses pull you behind.
www.leaderonomics.com


from https://mystrengthsandweaknesses.com/



Are you okay with seeing these lists and knowing which ones are you? 
The first one is weaknesses.
If we do not first acknowledge where we are weak, how are we supposed to maximize our strengths?
How are you supposed to be the best person you can be, if you don't know the person you are?

what does incarnation mean?

Like when Jesus was called “the incarnate Christ“
He came in the flesh
Think carnage
Think "con carne" - with meat

Incarnation means for something unseen to take on a form which is seen, visible, physical, touchable.

It's literally material manifestation of something invisible, generally spiritual.
The human form of Jesus.

the existence of God

The idea of the God being the creator of everything is the controversy regarding the cause responsible for the existence of God, presuming God exists. It contests the idea that the universe cannot exist without a creator by asserting that the creator of the universe must have the same restrictions. This, then, may lead to a problem of thinking that each newly presumed creator of a creator is itself presumed to have its own creator. A common challenge to the proposition that the creation must have a creator is then: "Who created God?"

Aseity of God- 
Aseity has two aspects, one positive and one negative: absolute independence and self-existence. In its positive meaning, it affirms that God is completely self-sufficient, having within Himself the sufficient reason for His own existence.
In its positive meaning, it affirms that God is completely self-sufficient, having within Himself the sufficient reason for His own existence. The first concept comes from "the God of philosophers" (the God of the philosophers is the God of the world)
, while the second one comes from "the living God of Revelation" (I Am Who I Am: Exodus 3:14).

(thanks to Wikipedia for helping.)

Omnipotent - He is all powerful. 

Omniscient - He knows everything.. everything that's happened, everything that's going on right now, and everything that will happen.

Omnipresent - He is everywhere, all the time.


He has no beginning, He has no end, He knows everything, He is everywhere, and He is all powerful and all loving. 

God is.. He just is.. He exists outside of our time and space and view of reality. 

LGBTQIA demographics - 5.6% identification rate

I find it interesting that only 5% of the population is LGBTQ+.
Why is a group of people who make up such a small percentage of our population taking over our "world"? I get that its great to be accepting of other people.. definitely! But why are we making personal identity and sexual identity something that we allow to run the world? When it's such a small percentage of what really matters in the grand scheme of things?
I literally thought there were like 50% of the population or something, with how much we're hearing about it. 

Is this because we have to politically correct about.. everything?
We have to step on egg shells around.. everyone?
We have to be careful about not offending.. anyone?




Isaiah 6 - hearing Christ and doing right

Isaiah was a Hebrew prophet who was believed to have lived about 700 years before the birth of Jesus Christ. Born in Jerusalem, Israel, he was said to have found his calling as a prophet when he saw a vision in the year of King Uzziah's death. Isaiah prophesized the coming of the Messiah Jesus Christ.

The theme of this book predicts imminent judgment for the people of Judah and Jerusalem, but also eventual restoration. Isaiah wants the people of these two places to hear his words, the words the God has given him, see that they are leading double lives (being hypocrites) and change what they are doing. (Decide to commit to faith or commit to unbelief.. stop being warm water, stop being on the fence.)

So knowing this information, let's look at the words in chapter 6 of the book in Bible that he wrote. 

Isaiah's commission.
In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two wings they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were called to one another:
"holy, holy, yahoo is the Lord Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory."
At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. 
"Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined For I am a man of unclean lips, and I love among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty."
then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here I am. Send me!"
He said, "Go and tell this people:
"'Be ever hearing, but never understanding; 
be ever seeing, but never perceiving.'
Make the hearts of this people calloused;
make their ears dull
and close their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes, 
hear tight their ears,
understand with their hearts,
and turn and be healed."
Then I said, "For how long, Lord?"
And he answered:
"Until the cities lie ruined 
and without inhabitant,
until the houses are left deserted
and the fields ruined and ravaged,
until the Lord has sent everyone far away
and the land is utterly forsaken.
And though and tenth remains in the land,
it will again be laid waste.
But as the terebinth and oak
leave stumps when they are cut down,
so the holy seed will be the stump in the land."

I think these words can be applied to what our world is going through today! 
A lot of people who claim to be followers of Christ are NOT following or doing what the Bible is commanding. 
There is so much "false prophet" calling out, and New Age thought processes, and different types of living that are being accepted: but God clearly states in the Bible what is sin and what is not, what is right and what is wrong. 
There is only one truth and there is only one way and there is only one Jesus/Savior/Christ.

We are going to be our own ruin if we do not carefully guard our hearts and minds. 


There's a reason why he says "make them unable to see, unable to hear, unable to understand..." because if people with the wrong mindsets and the wrong motives and the wrong perceptions think they are going to do good for the world, it will create more chaos and confusion. If people with wrong beliefs and wrong disciplines and views of justice come into what they think is correct understanding and correct views and they go ahead and influence people about the wrong ways.. destruction is imminent. 

This would be like a YouTube or an Instagram Influencer who are not Christ followers speak about something that THEY think is right, sharing opinion as truth, sharing information that they are researching as fact, their followers aren't going to know right from wrong. They are going to take that opinion as "real" and "right" and carry it on to other people. It's like the telephone game from childhood.. in the end, nobody is going to get it right. But when you start the line with words that are incorrect in the first place, you're just headed for disaster. 

God is like a dandelion.

It’s hard to put into words some thing that is strong but fragile, overlooked and stepped on but overtakes everything, it’s considered a weed but is one of the most beautiful flowers up close. Has greenery that is just so awkward looking and looked at like it’s so strange, but it’s so full of nourishment. It’s so good for your body. It takes a lot to pull the roots out when it’s a mature plant, and what do you make a wish, you blow the seeds and hope for the best. You can pull the top off and smear it on different parts of your body or a different parts of items around you, and it will make different colors and different textures, but it’s still a dandelion. And all you did was take away the visible pretty part, you didn’t take away the root. So no matter what form you try to push or change it into, it won’t stay where you put it, but I will always grow more. And I will always be strong. I no matter where it’s planted, it will spread and grow and thrive. The only way you can get rid of a dandelion is by poisoning it. The only way you can get rid of God in your life is by denying him. The only way that his seeds can’t grow is to the land in a place that is hesitant or defiant. But wherever the seeds land, hope Springs new. And his love will spread, with or without you. - Camella

Monday, May 10, 2021

Welcome to Motherhood

Where the coffee is needed
The hugs are infinite 
And the changes in body shape are inevitable. 

The veins in your legs become three dimensional
Lack of sleep is imminent 
And “i love you” is heard all day.

Where day dreams are undeniable
We start to wish differently
And eyelashes on cheeks make the sweetest images.

Thursday, May 6, 2021

purity culture




Don't have sex until you're married. 
-But are you going to teach me about what to do when I DO get married? 
-Are you going to tell me anything about the correct way to be intimate with a spouse?
Oh no, we don't talk about sex in the church. 
-So you mean I'm on my own in this? I have to figure out everything about intimacy by myself?
Yes. Oh, here's a book. Read it, but don't ask questions. 

Cover up your body so you don't cause men to stumble.
-Ok I can do that, but what parts of my body am I supposed to cover up?
-What about going swimming? Or being hot in the summer.. what do I do when I'm sweating?
You have to cover all the skin that could be provocative in any way. 
-Are you also going to talk to the boys about not making me feel uncomfortable?
Boys can't help themselves. They are wired to be sexual beings.
-This stuff makes me feel ugly and insecure. Can you help me with that?
You are God's daughter. You should feel loved by Him. Don't worry about what other people think about you. 
-But I'm a teenage girl. Of course I care (to some degree) what other people think. Can someone help me learn to love myself?
No, that would be prideful. You need to be humble. 
-So I'm not supposed to love myself? I'm not supposed to feel beautiful?
Beauty is fleeting. Don't worry about what you look like.

So I'm not allowed to be confident because that makes me seem prideful, I'm not allowed to dress to impress because that makes me look attractive and then I will cause other people to stumble. 
So I can't be myself because.. it will make people like me. 
And if people like me, that could make them want me sexually.. and we don't want that. 

But then I'm known as the outcast because I don't fit in.
I don't fit in because I was taught to not be myself. 
Even when I do act like myself, I don't fit it.
I guess I'll pretend.
I'll pretend I'm everything you want me to be. 
So I guess being me is a bad thing. 
-----------------

The trauma of purity culture is real. 
The voices we listen to are important, and so is what they say and where their fingers are pointing. 
People are fallible.. unfortunately we were taught to listen to our elders and not question them. 
That was unthinkable. 

And as a 38 year old woman.. I'm finally finding out things about myself and learning how to work through them, and having to heal and deal, and I should never have had to be in this situation. 

Don't make people be someone they're not because it makes you uncomfortable, or because you think your religion tells you something. 

I know who God is.
I know who he made me. 
And I know he has plans for me.
And I know he's a God of healing. 

I think I would prefer to listen to the One who made me, and I know he made me just right.
Because he doesn't make things wrong.


why do gay people want to get married?

Since marriage is, or came from, the sanctified union of two believers in Christ, why do people who don’t believe in God or identify as some thing that isn’t in its natural form ... why do they want that union?

Why do people who don't feel the need to reproduce naturally...feel the need to be joined legally forever with another human being? 



this one is an interesting read.
very thorough and pointed. 

I just looked up the definition of marriage and it's ridiculous how it can't be defined simply anymore. 
I literally had to look up "marriage" and then find a connecting link between "wedlock" and "traditional marriage". Even then, it was described partially as people who opposed same sex marriage. 
Do we really have to be that terrible?
It's become this "word" that people almost look at with disdain.

Between feminism, the LGBTQIA+ movement, and all these supposed stigmas and political correctness, marriage has almost become a dirty word.
What the heck? 

This is just me questioning and reflection and reading because I want to understand. 
I'm not sure I ever will, but it doesn't hurt to poke holes and finds answers and other view points. 



what is the gospel?

The gospel is the life story of Jesus, his works, his ministry, his relationships with people, how he died, why he died the way he did, and the whole point of Christianity in a nutshell. 
The gospel is written from the view points of 4 different people; Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. (These aren't just the "titles" of books in the Bible, they are people's names. Disciples/followers of Jesus, men who gave up their lives to follow him.) So the gospel is actually given as eye witness accounts by 4 different people who lived during that time period, who were intimately involved with the person of Jesus. 

noun
the teachings of Jesus and the apostles; the Christian revelation.
the story of Christ's life and teachings, especially as contained in the first four books of the New Testament, namely Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
(usually initial capital letterany of these four books.
something regarded as true and implicitly believed: to take his report for gospel.

adjective
of, relating to, or proclaiming the gospel or its teachings: a gospel preacher.
in accordance with the gospel; evangelical.