https://themighty.com/2020/04/let-autistic-people-stim/?utm_source=newsletter_autism&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=newsletter_autism_2020-04-21&$deep_link=true
Stimming is little things that we do that help us regulate our bodies to feel balances in our world.
When i'm reading, I run my teeth over my lip and have a pen or a fidget in one of my hands. The clicking of pens bothers my husband, so i sometimes use the fidget or a pen with a cap instead of a clicker.
When i'm watching a movie, i'll have my phone in my hand, or i'll crochet, or i'll eat (smacks head).
When i'm somewhere that I can't swim as easily, I have a rubber band on the bottom of my purse or I pick at something on my skin (this is destructive).
If I get super excited about something, i'll actually squeal and jump up and down. I freaked my husband out about six months ago when I allowed myself to physically do this instead of keeping the feeling inside. I didn't know before last year that I was autistic, and now that I know, and that these things are actually good for me to do, I let myself openly stim.
This can be hard to do, because people like me (late diagnosis autistics), our whole lives we learned to keep these things in and mask things so we didn't look odd.
Now I can allow myself to learn myself better, and not squish down things that are part of me that don't need to be hidden.
If it makes other people uncomfortable, so be it.
Wednesday, April 29, 2020
Tuesday, April 28, 2020
MGTOW movement?
https://get-a-wingman.com/the-beginners-guide-to-mgtow-the-men-going-their-own-way-movement/
https://www.mgtow.com
" Men Going Their Own Way - is a statement of self-ownership, where the modern man preserves and protects his own sovereignty above all else. It is the manifestation of one word: "No". Ejecting silly preconceptions and cultural definitions of what a man is. Looking to no one else for social cues. Refusing to bow, serve and kneel for the opportunity to be treated like a disposable utility. And, living according to his own best interests in a world which would rather he didn't.
Noun. Meaning: Supreme power or authority. Autonomy, independence, self-government, self-rule, self-determination, freedom. Self-governing.
----
How is this common sense?
This sounds a lot like Feminism in a manly way.
So basically each gender is creating a movement to really just be their own gender, just empowered.
Again, why don't we all empower each other?
Why must we separate and raise flags and yell and pound into each other that.. we really just want to be noticed?
We just want to be loved and encouraged by each other to just be who we are?
https://www.mgtow.com
" Men Going Their Own Way - is a statement of self-ownership, where the modern man preserves and protects his own sovereignty above all else. It is the manifestation of one word: "No". Ejecting silly preconceptions and cultural definitions of what a man is. Looking to no one else for social cues. Refusing to bow, serve and kneel for the opportunity to be treated like a disposable utility. And, living according to his own best interests in a world which would rather he didn't.
In other words . . . common sense for men."
sov·er·eign·ty
ˈsäv(ə)rən(t)ē/Noun. Meaning: Supreme power or authority. Autonomy, independence, self-government, self-rule, self-determination, freedom. Self-governing.
How is this common sense?
This sounds a lot like Feminism in a manly way.
So basically each gender is creating a movement to really just be their own gender, just empowered.
Again, why don't we all empower each other?
Why must we separate and raise flags and yell and pound into each other that.. we really just want to be noticed?
We just want to be loved and encouraged by each other to just be who we are?
men’s rights, women’s rights- human rights
Feminism- Wikipedia
Feminism is a range of social movements, political movements, and ideologies that aim to define, establish, and achieve the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. Feminism incorporates the position that societies prioritize the male point of view, and that women are treated unfairly within those societies.
Feminism is a range of social movements, political movements, and ideologies that aim to define, establish, and achieve the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. Feminism incorporates the position that societies prioritize the male point of view, and that women are treated unfairly within those societies.
Toxic masculinity- Wikipedia
In the social sciences, toxic masculinity refers to traditional cultural masculine norms that can be harmful to men, women, and society overall; this concept of toxic masculinity is not intended to demonize men or male attributes, but rather to emphasize the harmful effects of conformity to certain traditional masculine ideal behaviors such as dominance, self-reliance, and competition.
So women want to tell me that they want to be treated equal
But then men aren't sure how to act around women
and then men become insecure and afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing
But women don't want men to be afraid of them
they want to work together
But we are meant and created to be different sexes
to do different things
we aren't created to be the same
How about we all just treat each other with respect
and stop trying to one up each other
and stop trying to degrade each other
and stop trying to be better than each other
and stop trying to say "we want to be equal" but really mean "I don't trust you"
This is ridiculous.
We all just have a right to be.. human.
Live and grow with each other, and just be.
In the social sciences, toxic masculinity refers to traditional cultural masculine norms that can be harmful to men, women, and society overall; this concept of toxic masculinity is not intended to demonize men or male attributes, but rather to emphasize the harmful effects of conformity to certain traditional masculine ideal behaviors such as dominance, self-reliance, and competition.
So women want to tell me that they want to be treated equal
But then men aren't sure how to act around women
and then men become insecure and afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing
But women don't want men to be afraid of them
they want to work together
But we are meant and created to be different sexes
to do different things
we aren't created to be the same
How about we all just treat each other with respect
and stop trying to one up each other
and stop trying to degrade each other
and stop trying to be better than each other
and stop trying to say "we want to be equal" but really mean "I don't trust you"
This is ridiculous.
We all just have a right to be.. human.
Live and grow with each other, and just be.
is society supposed to be patriarchal
from Wikipedia
"Patriarchy is a social system in which men hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property. Some patriarchal societies are also patrilineal, meaning that property and title are inherited by the male lineage. Patriarchy is associated with a set of ideas, a patriarchal ideology that acts to explain and justify this dominance and attributes it to inherent natural differences between men and women."
I grew up in an Evangelical home and from that I know and what I believe, society should be a patriarchy. Men are supposed to be the heads. This doesn't mean women are less than them or can't be in other places of being "in charge", and I don't believe this is anti-feminist either. I truly think men are created to be the Heads of society. That doesn't mean women are less important or can't be intilligent.
"Patriarchy is a social system in which men hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property. Some patriarchal societies are also patrilineal, meaning that property and title are inherited by the male lineage. Patriarchy is associated with a set of ideas, a patriarchal ideology that acts to explain and justify this dominance and attributes it to inherent natural differences between men and women."
I grew up in an Evangelical home and from that I know and what I believe, society should be a patriarchy. Men are supposed to be the heads. This doesn't mean women are less than them or can't be in other places of being "in charge", and I don't believe this is anti-feminist either. I truly think men are created to be the Heads of society. That doesn't mean women are less important or can't be intilligent.
why is cliche negative?
Is there really something wrong with being cliche?
A cliché, or cliche, is an expression, idea, or element of an artistic work that has become overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, even to the point of being trite or irritating, especially when at some earlier time it was considered meaningful or novel.
It always sounds like this is used in a negative connotation. Maybe it's because when things are used over and over again, they become annoying?
I think it can be a good thing to use something over again, or revisit something old, because it can carry on a unique thought or thing in a new way.
For instance, my husband and I used red roses in our wedding.. and at that time, they seemed cliche', because they are used so often and it's not "original". But that didn't mean it was a bad thing. Just means we really liked the idea of them and decided to continue with something traditional.
"Just because a phrase is overused doesn't mean it's a cliche'. and because a phrase is a cliche' doesn't mean it isn't true. A cliche' conveys an idea or message but loses its point through over-usage."
Ahhhh
A cliché, or cliche, is an expression, idea, or element of an artistic work that has become overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, even to the point of being trite or irritating, especially when at some earlier time it was considered meaningful or novel.
It always sounds like this is used in a negative connotation. Maybe it's because when things are used over and over again, they become annoying?
I think it can be a good thing to use something over again, or revisit something old, because it can carry on a unique thought or thing in a new way.
For instance, my husband and I used red roses in our wedding.. and at that time, they seemed cliche', because they are used so often and it's not "original". But that didn't mean it was a bad thing. Just means we really liked the idea of them and decided to continue with something traditional.
"Just because a phrase is overused doesn't mean it's a cliche'. and because a phrase is a cliche' doesn't mean it isn't true. A cliche' conveys an idea or message but loses its point through over-usage."
Ahhhh
Finding out about life long special interests, autistic adult realization
So I literally just had an epiphany. I'm reading my chapter in The Worn out Woman, devotion, about playing to your strengths. I literally just had a lightbulb moment that I don't find pleasure in expressing myself musically. This might have something to do with allexithymia, but it doesn't make me happy. It can and has helped me feel calm and connected, but not happiness, the closest thing has been sometimes joy and anxiety.
There was specific times in my life where music was a special interest, but it's not an integral part of who I am. I'm good at it, I'm talented in it. Moving to music and dancing is actually part of stimming for me. So when there's music with a good beat or a certain choreography and I know it, I have to be able to move to it, or my body feels very off. Luckily, because I was a cheerleader and I was able to take clogging lessons growing up, I am not awkward at it, I actually have a really good beat and coordination.
I'm finally able to admit that I'd be completely ok getting rid of my flute and using the sheet music in craft projects. :)
This is why, when my dad wanted me and encouraged me to use my music as a career, I didn't want to do it anymore. Because that's not who I am. I just happen to be good at it. And that's also why it was easier for me to give up being part of a praise team at church when my illnesses started taking over. Because for me it's not mandatory to perform. I just like being part of and listening to it.
I believe this is also part of why I was attracted to my now husband. He was a drummer when I met him, and I became a groupie. :)
Wow. This is a huge thing for me to realize.
And when I went on my mission trips to Europe, it was my special interests of singing and traveling along with my favorite stim of dancing and my love of helping people that all combined to make them hugely awesome experiences.
And it's ok that i'm not musical in a musically inclined family. Just because my older brother and sister doesn't mean I have to be. And I don't have to feel bad about it, I can allow myself to finally be ok with it. Finally feeling like I can be a separate person from what I feel like my family has always made me feel like I had to be.
It's okay for me to not do what they do. God isn't using me for music anymore, just like my little brother.
I'm no longer the good little girl in the frame on the wall.
And I didn't even know I felt that way.
So many parts of me i'm learning about and so grateful for these openings of "internal and external emotional sight".
There was specific times in my life where music was a special interest, but it's not an integral part of who I am. I'm good at it, I'm talented in it. Moving to music and dancing is actually part of stimming for me. So when there's music with a good beat or a certain choreography and I know it, I have to be able to move to it, or my body feels very off. Luckily, because I was a cheerleader and I was able to take clogging lessons growing up, I am not awkward at it, I actually have a really good beat and coordination.
I'm finally able to admit that I'd be completely ok getting rid of my flute and using the sheet music in craft projects. :)
This is why, when my dad wanted me and encouraged me to use my music as a career, I didn't want to do it anymore. Because that's not who I am. I just happen to be good at it. And that's also why it was easier for me to give up being part of a praise team at church when my illnesses started taking over. Because for me it's not mandatory to perform. I just like being part of and listening to it.
I believe this is also part of why I was attracted to my now husband. He was a drummer when I met him, and I became a groupie. :)
Wow. This is a huge thing for me to realize.
And when I went on my mission trips to Europe, it was my special interests of singing and traveling along with my favorite stim of dancing and my love of helping people that all combined to make them hugely awesome experiences.
And it's ok that i'm not musical in a musically inclined family. Just because my older brother and sister doesn't mean I have to be. And I don't have to feel bad about it, I can allow myself to finally be ok with it. Finally feeling like I can be a separate person from what I feel like my family has always made me feel like I had to be.
It's okay for me to not do what they do. God isn't using me for music anymore, just like my little brother.
I'm no longer the good little girl in the frame on the wall.
And I didn't even know I felt that way.
So many parts of me i'm learning about and so grateful for these openings of "internal and external emotional sight".
Romans 12
I feel like I just need to type this out and you need to read it.
There are many message in this, many things to glean from its words.
What does it tell you?
Romans 12
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God--this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is writing: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
There are many message in this, many things to glean from its words.
What does it tell you?
Romans 12
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God--this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is writing: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Habakuk 2:2
Then the Lord replied:
Write down the revelation
and make it plain on tablets
so that a herald may run with it.
Habakuk 2 is about writing down revelations that are given to us and speaking them out to so that when the time comes, we can refer back and revel in the fact that it was foretold.
Revelations are truths about things that apply to everyday life that are given as info bombs to people's minds.
Revelations given in that time took forever to be delivered to other people.
I think sometimes they become "cheapened" now because we have such a quick connection to the world, and there is so much competing information.
We can't see the truth bombs being spoked as easily. Written word is so much more accessible, it's almost blasé.
A major thing to take a way from this is that when we are given revelations, we need to use the communication service that God give us to best relay these messages to others so they can hear it in a way that they can understand.
Some write books, some sing songs, some post on Instagram or the newspaper or even text to other people, or make a phone call.
Listen for the revelations that God is giving you through the truth bombs of the Spirit in your soul, and connect this information with other people in a way that God guides you, too.
Write down the revelation
and make it plain on tablets
so that a herald may run with it.
Habakuk 2 is about writing down revelations that are given to us and speaking them out to so that when the time comes, we can refer back and revel in the fact that it was foretold.
Revelations are truths about things that apply to everyday life that are given as info bombs to people's minds.
Revelations given in that time took forever to be delivered to other people.
I think sometimes they become "cheapened" now because we have such a quick connection to the world, and there is so much competing information.
We can't see the truth bombs being spoked as easily. Written word is so much more accessible, it's almost blasé.
A major thing to take a way from this is that when we are given revelations, we need to use the communication service that God give us to best relay these messages to others so they can hear it in a way that they can understand.
Some write books, some sing songs, some post on Instagram or the newspaper or even text to other people, or make a phone call.
Listen for the revelations that God is giving you through the truth bombs of the Spirit in your soul, and connect this information with other people in a way that God guides you, too.
Sunday, April 26, 2020
God, show me your normal
God's normal is to not listen to the words of people but to listen and obey the words and teaching and path of righteousness.
God's normal is to not conform to standards but to create and be a standard. To live above the rules of the world.
God's normal is not to be fair but to judge fairly, based on biblical principles (which are His principles).
God's normal is love that is unconditional. There is no "do this and I will" to His love. There's only "I love you, no matter what".
God's normal is to believe in you because he knows you. You don't have to believe in yourself or know what you do, all you have to do is hold out your hand and He will hold your hand and guide you.
God's normal is to keep the path straight, and if you want to follow that path, He'll walk with you.
God's normal is to listen to you. No matter how you're talking to Him, whether you're saying a silent word in your head, whether you send up a popcorn prayer while you drive, whether you have no idea if He's real or not and you wonder if anything you say is going past the walls around you. He's listening because He accepts everyone who accepts Him.
God's normal is to not conform to standards but to create and be a standard. To live above the rules of the world.
God's normal is not to be fair but to judge fairly, based on biblical principles (which are His principles).
God's normal is love that is unconditional. There is no "do this and I will" to His love. There's only "I love you, no matter what".
God's normal is to believe in you because he knows you. You don't have to believe in yourself or know what you do, all you have to do is hold out your hand and He will hold your hand and guide you.
God's normal is to keep the path straight, and if you want to follow that path, He'll walk with you.
God's normal is to listen to you. No matter how you're talking to Him, whether you're saying a silent word in your head, whether you send up a popcorn prayer while you drive, whether you have no idea if He's real or not and you wonder if anything you say is going past the walls around you. He's listening because He accepts everyone who accepts Him.
John 17:20
Jesus Prays for All Believers
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in my through their message."
Jesus is praying for pastors, for people who have been called to speak His word. But He is also praying over the people who are hearing the words of the spiritual leaders, that they may listen and and believe the message that is being shared.
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in my through their message."
Jesus is praying for pastors, for people who have been called to speak His word. But He is also praying over the people who are hearing the words of the spiritual leaders, that they may listen and and believe the message that is being shared.
church notes 4/26/2020 1 Mosaic Collaboration
This is part 5 of a Collaboration
Here's the youtube link to this sermon. (all 5 are on here!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKoLxPh3PFc&t=40s
Psalm 23
vs 1- 1 sentence. but Wow.
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. (Hebrews 13- Jesus is the Great Shepherd)
"I have all I need/I lack nothing"
vs 2- I am at peace
I have what I need
The Shepherd knows, the shepherd has done all the work - the sheep just need to trust.
DO WE TRUST OUR SHEPHERD?
vs 3- Denying myself to follow him.
(This reminds me of the book Pilgrims Progress)
vs 4 and vs 5- You prepare a table before me in the Presence of my Enemies.
You anoint my head with oil.
He honors us
He renews us
My cup overflows- Abundance from God
vs 6- The goodness and love of God is the only constant.
Here's the youtube link to this sermon. (all 5 are on here!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKoLxPh3PFc&t=40s
Psalm 23
vs 1- 1 sentence. but Wow.
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. (Hebrews 13- Jesus is the Great Shepherd)
"I have all I need/I lack nothing"
vs 2- I am at peace
I have what I need
The Shepherd knows, the shepherd has done all the work - the sheep just need to trust.
DO WE TRUST OUR SHEPHERD?
vs 3- Denying myself to follow him.
(This reminds me of the book Pilgrims Progress)
vs 4 and vs 5- You prepare a table before me in the Presence of my Enemies.
You anoint my head with oil.
He honors us
He renews us
My cup overflows- Abundance from God
vs 6- The goodness and love of God is the only constant.
Tuesday, April 21, 2020
After God's own heart
I recently watched a YouTube video from a Christian host who met with a Christian gay woman and then proceeded to call her a woman after gods own heart.
What do people think that statement means?
"After God's own heart"
To me, that doesn't sound right, it doesn't sit right, it doesn't feel right.
As an autistic who grew up in an evangelical church and a private Christian school, there are certain guidelines and specifics in my minds, and when I hear something that doesn't make sense in those constructs, it makes me react like.. it doesn't sound correct.
And because I mentally work best with things that are "correct"..
I have to figure this out.
https://www.gotquestions.org/man-after-God-heart.html
To me, this story is what being "After God's own heart" is about.
Even though you fall and you sin and you fail, you acknowledge what you're doing is wrong and repent from it.
I think being gay is a choice, and it's also a sinful choice because God created each person a certain gender on purpose.
If you decide to live your life that way and you're a believer in God, then you're not being "after God's own heart" because you're deciding to live in that sin, not turning away from it.
Now I also know that we all have sins that we decide to sit in. Like David, we all fall, we all get comfortable and we all allow things in our lives (especially more now than Bible times).
This is definitely something for us to consider when we say things.
I'm not saying she was wrong for this comment.
It just made me think and decide to research the saying.
Found some more links below that can help us comprehend this saying.
http://www.godsownheart.com
https://globalchristiancenter.com/christian-living/personal-growth/11748-becoming-a-man-or-woman-after-gods-own-heart
What do people think that statement means?
"After God's own heart"
To me, that doesn't sound right, it doesn't sit right, it doesn't feel right.
As an autistic who grew up in an evangelical church and a private Christian school, there are certain guidelines and specifics in my minds, and when I hear something that doesn't make sense in those constructs, it makes me react like.. it doesn't sound correct.
And because I mentally work best with things that are "correct"..
I have to figure this out.
https://www.gotquestions.org/man-after-God-heart.html
To me, this story is what being "After God's own heart" is about.
Even though you fall and you sin and you fail, you acknowledge what you're doing is wrong and repent from it.
I think being gay is a choice, and it's also a sinful choice because God created each person a certain gender on purpose.
If you decide to live your life that way and you're a believer in God, then you're not being "after God's own heart" because you're deciding to live in that sin, not turning away from it.
Now I also know that we all have sins that we decide to sit in. Like David, we all fall, we all get comfortable and we all allow things in our lives (especially more now than Bible times).
This is definitely something for us to consider when we say things.
I'm not saying she was wrong for this comment.
It just made me think and decide to research the saying.
Found some more links below that can help us comprehend this saying.
http://www.godsownheart.com
https://globalchristiancenter.com/christian-living/personal-growth/11748-becoming-a-man-or-woman-after-gods-own-heart
saving sex for marriage
“Not in the Bible?”
I recently heard this on a Christian vlog.. "saving sex for marriage" is not in the Bible.
confusion
skepticism
for real?
these things all going through my head
I grew up in church, I understand that Purity Culture is a bit too crazy in some points (i'll do another blog post on this topic).... but...
Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by everyone, and husband and wife should keep their marriage pure. God will judge as guilty those who take pare in sexual sins."
This is one reason that everyone surrounding a couple should ALSO keep them accountable, and help them stay pure until they are husband and wife, and then also, staying pure to each other.
Song of Solomon, MULTIPLE times, says "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desire."
This doesn't say when YOU so desire. We have a sin nature. Our love/physical/emotional desires are of the flesh. The devil leads the flesh.
Please remember that the Spirit lives in your soul, and that voice will NEVER tell you it's ok to have sex or be intimate with someone outside of the bond of marriage.
These are the words of David, a man after God's own heart (meaning, pure and remaining sexual and intimate with his one wife).
https://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/what-does-the-bible-say-about-sex-before-marriage-510492.html
This website has amazing information and insights!
Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
If you are a believer in God, you will be judged by him for having sex outside of marriage, whether it be before you are married, or while you're married and being with someone else.
https://corechristianity.com/resource-library/articles/9-bible-verses-that-teach-that-sex-before-marriage-is-a-sin
The Bible definitely teaches and states that having sex before marriage and outside of marriage is sinful.
So no, just because it doesn't specifically say "saving sex for marriage" because that's more of a modern saying, does not mean that Bible doesn't say the same thing. SPECIFICALLY
If you're reading this blog post and you're not a believer in God, there are also many reasons just physically, emotionally, and many other ways that you should only have one sex partner for life.
https://lovinglifeathome.com/2015/06/06/7-smart-reasons-to-save-sex-for-marriage/
I recently heard this on a Christian vlog.. "saving sex for marriage" is not in the Bible.
confusion
skepticism
for real?
these things all going through my head
I grew up in church, I understand that Purity Culture is a bit too crazy in some points (i'll do another blog post on this topic).... but...
Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by everyone, and husband and wife should keep their marriage pure. God will judge as guilty those who take pare in sexual sins."
This is one reason that everyone surrounding a couple should ALSO keep them accountable, and help them stay pure until they are husband and wife, and then also, staying pure to each other.
Song of Solomon, MULTIPLE times, says "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desire."
This doesn't say when YOU so desire. We have a sin nature. Our love/physical/emotional desires are of the flesh. The devil leads the flesh.
Please remember that the Spirit lives in your soul, and that voice will NEVER tell you it's ok to have sex or be intimate with someone outside of the bond of marriage.
These are the words of David, a man after God's own heart (meaning, pure and remaining sexual and intimate with his one wife).
https://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/what-does-the-bible-say-about-sex-before-marriage-510492.html
This website has amazing information and insights!
Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
If you are a believer in God, you will be judged by him for having sex outside of marriage, whether it be before you are married, or while you're married and being with someone else.
https://corechristianity.com/resource-library/articles/9-bible-verses-that-teach-that-sex-before-marriage-is-a-sin
The Bible definitely teaches and states that having sex before marriage and outside of marriage is sinful.
So no, just because it doesn't specifically say "saving sex for marriage" because that's more of a modern saying, does not mean that Bible doesn't say the same thing. SPECIFICALLY
If you're reading this blog post and you're not a believer in God, there are also many reasons just physically, emotionally, and many other ways that you should only have one sex partner for life.
https://lovinglifeathome.com/2015/06/06/7-smart-reasons-to-save-sex-for-marriage/
cultural headwear and the women who wear them
I've always been interested in knowing what headwear is worn by whom.
I think it's something that we should all learn and be aware of. Different cultures and different nationalities cover their heads and bodies in different ways. I think it's beautiful, and I never know if it's okay to ask women who wear them.. why?
So I found this photo online (i'm not sure who to give credit to!) and I would like to be able to describe some of this to myself and also to you.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/24118241
These are all worn by Muslim women in different parts of the world.
Headscarves are seen as a sign of modesty by people who wear them, and a symbol of religious faith, but not everyone agrees with them and in some countries, like France and Denmark, there's a ban on wearing garments that cover the face in public.
The niqab is a veil that covers everything except the eyes. It is worn with a headscarf that covers the hair. Unlike the hijab, most Muslim scholars say that the niqab is not an obligation and that women wear it as an extra level of modesty, but some disagree, saying it is mandatory.
https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/muslim-veil-row-hijab-niqab-burqa-islam-506769
I found this awesome website about many different aspects of Islamic women and their lives. Grateful for websites that are helpful to those of us who are interested in learning more!
https://www.islamswomen.com
If you, the reader, have more information, feel free to reply/comment and add to the knowledge of the women of this culture, religion and way of life!
I think it's something that we should all learn and be aware of. Different cultures and different nationalities cover their heads and bodies in different ways. I think it's beautiful, and I never know if it's okay to ask women who wear them.. why?
So I found this photo online (i'm not sure who to give credit to!) and I would like to be able to describe some of this to myself and also to you.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/24118241
These are all worn by Muslim women in different parts of the world.
Headscarves are seen as a sign of modesty by people who wear them, and a symbol of religious faith, but not everyone agrees with them and in some countries, like France and Denmark, there's a ban on wearing garments that cover the face in public.
The niqab is a veil that covers everything except the eyes. It is worn with a headscarf that covers the hair. Unlike the hijab, most Muslim scholars say that the niqab is not an obligation and that women wear it as an extra level of modesty, but some disagree, saying it is mandatory.
https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/muslim-veil-row-hijab-niqab-burqa-islam-506769
I found this awesome website about many different aspects of Islamic women and their lives. Grateful for websites that are helpful to those of us who are interested in learning more!
https://www.islamswomen.com
If you, the reader, have more information, feel free to reply/comment and add to the knowledge of the women of this culture, religion and way of life!
biases
I'm super intrigued by how the mind works and how we're wired, and how we determine things.
Bias is an interesting thing, and I didn't realize there were so many different things engrained and learned by us that are almost completely unconscious or subconscious.
Bias-
1 a particular tendency, trend, inclination, feeling, or opinion, especially one that is preconceived or unreasoned.
2 unreasonably hostile feelings or opinions about a social group; prejudice
types of biases
*Cognitive bias-
or the tendency to think in certain ways that lead to systematic deviations from a standard rationality or good judgment 
*Media bias-
Journalism is tied to a set of ethical standards and values, including truth and accuracy, fairness and impartiality, and accountability. However, journalism today often strays from objective fact; the result is biased news. Bias isn't necessarily a bad thing, but hidden media bias misleads, manipulates and divides us.
*Affinity bias-
Preference for certain types of people for whom they have an affinity , such as a respondents who are similar to them or that they find attractive, and including them in the sample at higher rates than others.https://dorothydalton.com/2017/03/13/affinity-bias-and-the-recruitment-process/
So this bias comes from what our minds think of good or positive or attractive personally to us.
ADDED 5/5/2020
What is a bias blind spot?
https://www.explorepsychology.com/bias-blind-spot/
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/autistic-people-may-more-easily-ignore-cognitive-biases-0711171
finding out that autistics generally don't conform to a bias because of underdeveloped social connection. we tend to be rule followers and have solid core values. tending to be "stuck" in our beliefs or our core tendencies makes us a lot less likely to conform to a certain bias. because we are empathetic, as well, we tend to see a lot of different sides, so we understand most perspectives as well. we don't have a bias blind spot, we just don't generally fit in a certain bias group.
ADDED 5/5/2020
What is a bias blind spot?
https://www.explorepsychology.com/bias-blind-spot/
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/autistic-people-may-more-easily-ignore-cognitive-biases-0711171
finding out that autistics generally don't conform to a bias because of underdeveloped social connection. we tend to be rule followers and have solid core values. tending to be "stuck" in our beliefs or our core tendencies makes us a lot less likely to conform to a certain bias. because we are empathetic, as well, we tend to see a lot of different sides, so we understand most perspectives as well. we don't have a bias blind spot, we just don't generally fit in a certain bias group.
Sunday, April 19, 2020
the power of perfection
referring to some parts of The Worn out Woman
"If I could get everything right, life would be good. People would love me, and then I could finally love myself."
At a deeper level, perfectionism reveals a lack of faith.
PSA: Being perfect is impossible. For one, we each have a picture in our heads of what perfection looks like, so "being perfect" is completely subjective.
Your perfect isn't going to match with anybody else's view of perfect.
So trying to gain perfection is really trying to be what other people want you to be, which might not even BE perfection.
It's just something that has a hugely high standard that you're never going to be able to grasp. Even if you do finally get to sit on the pedestal, someone else will have a different pedestal, and you'll try to reach where they are.
"No one you know is perfect, and nothing you do will be perfect. That's just reality. The harder you try to reach the unattainable, the more frustrated, exhausted, and defeated you will feel."
Dr David Burns (Book Perfection): "If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault."
Do what is doable and give yourself credit for each days accomplishments. YOUR accomplishments, not somebody else's expectations of you.
"You don't have to be perfect to be wonderful"
You are already wonderful.
And perfection is a myth.
people pleasing
It zaps you of who you are and you lose yourself in the middle of making everyone else happy. Learning boundaries starts to give you your own life back and destress and start to learn who you are again.
In some words from the book- The Worn out Woman
Comparing yourself to others is dangerous. As your stress increases, you tend to become more self-critical. Whoever you are, someone will always be better of brighter than you.
When you compare yourself to others, you actually stop seeing yourself.
And you can't make everyone happy, either. So if you compare yourself to them, and want to make them happy, then you start taking away from things that make you happy, and your life is no longer yours, it belongs to them.
* I used to only get my sense of worth from this, especially with affirmation being my love language.
Me, wanting to be accepted, especially being an undiagnosed autistic. When you want to be accepted by other people but don't even know who you are, it takes even longer to gain a sense of self, because the person you think you are isn't even you.
It can take a life time to know who you are.. through counseling and therapy, I finally have a solid sense of who Cami is. Now I can take that and learn who I am IN CHRIST and start to really listen to Him and watch my life and my surroundings come together better.
Scripture reminds us that "our purpose is to place God, not people."
In some words from the book- The Worn out Woman
Comparing yourself to others is dangerous. As your stress increases, you tend to become more self-critical. Whoever you are, someone will always be better of brighter than you.
When you compare yourself to others, you actually stop seeing yourself.
And you can't make everyone happy, either. So if you compare yourself to them, and want to make them happy, then you start taking away from things that make you happy, and your life is no longer yours, it belongs to them.
* I used to only get my sense of worth from this, especially with affirmation being my love language.
Me, wanting to be accepted, especially being an undiagnosed autistic. When you want to be accepted by other people but don't even know who you are, it takes even longer to gain a sense of self, because the person you think you are isn't even you.
It can take a life time to know who you are.. through counseling and therapy, I finally have a solid sense of who Cami is. Now I can take that and learn who I am IN CHRIST and start to really listen to Him and watch my life and my surroundings come together better.
Scripture reminds us that "our purpose is to place God, not people."
being yourself while you're married.
just because you're married doesn't mean you both think the same way.
you're going to have your own thoughts and feelings.
and you're not going to be able to share every single one of them.
it's not withholding or lying.. it's being the single person that you in the marriage relationship.
you're not supposed to both be the same person or think or do the same things..
you are two people who love each other enough to accept and celebrate the differences between you.
continue to search for your own sense of self and bring that unique you to the table.
you're going to have your own thoughts and feelings.
and you're not going to be able to share every single one of them.
it's not withholding or lying.. it's being the single person that you in the marriage relationship.
you're not supposed to both be the same person or think or do the same things..
you are two people who love each other enough to accept and celebrate the differences between you.
continue to search for your own sense of self and bring that unique you to the table.
Evolving
the word.. evolve
I think is mostly heard in relation to the clash of how the world came to be, but this is also valid in meaning how we change and grow over our lifetimes as people; not our genetic makeup, but how we learn and mature.
defined but the Oxford Dictionary
to develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complex form.
to progress, advance, mature, grow, expand, spread, alter, change, adapt
We evolve as we live and grow
How we think
How we dress
How we work
What our values are
How have you evolved in your life, and what are you doing right now that part of that evolution?
Right now, i'm in a space where God is calling me to evolve into someone who speaks truth and speaks any piece of knowledge that I glean from my research and resources.
The Spirit of God is helping me evolve in my soul and my inner being.
I think is mostly heard in relation to the clash of how the world came to be, but this is also valid in meaning how we change and grow over our lifetimes as people; not our genetic makeup, but how we learn and mature.
defined but the Oxford Dictionary
to develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complex form.
to progress, advance, mature, grow, expand, spread, alter, change, adapt
We evolve as we live and grow
How we think
How we dress
How we work
What our values are
How have you evolved in your life, and what are you doing right now that part of that evolution?
Right now, i'm in a space where God is calling me to evolve into someone who speaks truth and speaks any piece of knowledge that I glean from my research and resources.
The Spirit of God is helping me evolve in my soul and my inner being.
What is fairness?
Fairness definition, the state, condition, or quality of being fair, or free from bias or injustice; evenhandedness.
www.dictionary.com
Fairness definition is - the quality or state of being fair; especially : fair or impartial treatment : lack of favoritism toward one side or another.
www.marriam-webster.com
Biblical definition of fairness- True fairness must be based on biblical justice; however, fairness legislation in America has quietly replaced laws of justice, and the tragic results of this change have been more astonishing than anyone could have imagined. For example, in five states children may now sue their parents for allowing them to be born.
www.thebereancall.com
https://biblereasons.com/fairness/
If we were all treated fairly, nobody would ever be happy with the outcome.
We can do our best, though, using the Bible as a guideline.
www.dictionary.com
Fairness definition is - the quality or state of being fair; especially : fair or impartial treatment : lack of favoritism toward one side or another.
www.marriam-webster.com
Biblical definition of fairness- True fairness must be based on biblical justice; however, fairness legislation in America has quietly replaced laws of justice, and the tragic results of this change have been more astonishing than anyone could have imagined. For example, in five states children may now sue their parents for allowing them to be born.
www.thebereancall.com
https://biblereasons.com/fairness/
If we were all treated fairly, nobody would ever be happy with the outcome.
We can do our best, though, using the Bible as a guideline.
notes on church Bethany Assembly 4/19/2020
What you feed - grows.
Just because something is natural or is from nature doesn't make it good.
Our nature is sinful.
We are born into it.
We have to fight against is to make our lives worth something.
What you consume, you become.
If you eat unhealthy you become unhealthy.
Phillipans 3:8-14
What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose same I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.
I want to know Christ - yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
Brothers and sister, I do now consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
What am I becoming?
Nelson Mandela- "Vision without action is just a dream, action without vision just passes the time, and vision with action can change the world."
We can't "do" enough good things to get to heaven. We don't earn it.
God's grace covers all.
Just because something is natural or is from nature doesn't make it good.
Our nature is sinful.
We are born into it.
We have to fight against is to make our lives worth something.
What you consume, you become.
If you eat unhealthy you become unhealthy.
Phillipans 3:8-14
What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose same I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.
I want to know Christ - yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
Brothers and sister, I do now consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
What am I becoming?
Nelson Mandela- "Vision without action is just a dream, action without vision just passes the time, and vision with action can change the world."
We can't "do" enough good things to get to heaven. We don't earn it.
God's grace covers all.
Forgiveness
Sometimes it is literally humanly impossible to forgive.. but remember, with God all things are possible.
We justify and rationalize our anger, we hold grudges and hatefulness in our hearts.
But even if the other person doesn't respond, forgiveness on your part is imperative.
You won't be able to count on reconciliation, but you need to do your part to forgive.
Holding on is poisonous to your soul.
Sometimes the best thing to do is to separate, if it's manipulative or abusive, etc.
Being unwilling to forgive is imprisoning ourselves.
And it's our choice.
It's easy to default to our sinful nature.
We always have a choice in the direction of our emotions- how we respond.
WE HAVE MILLIONS OF CHOICES.
God says forgive and forget, this is the best way.
We, as humans, can't always forget things, but we can learn to live as though it's not part of our lives.
When someone brings something up from your past "I don't remember that. I distinctly remember forgiving and forgetting that."
This helps evil loosen it's grip and eventually fall away.
Do you want to get well?
Jesus asked the lame person "Do you want to get well?" before He healed him.
well.. do you want to get well?
Sometimes we benefit from keeping ourselves stuck.
We let ourselves be ok with where we are.
We don't allow ourselves or change or move forward.
Sometimes we get so used to our pain and feel like if we WANT to get well, it will be scary because being well is unknown. It's a fear of not knowing or being afraid of what wellness would mean.
----
There is also a reflection of this that refers to how we pray.
Are you praying for things to get better, but not letting it happen?
He won't be able to bless you if you are putting up a wall.
You can pray as much as you want, but if the bricks are still in place, you're not allowing blessings to happen.
well.. do you want to get well?
Sometimes we benefit from keeping ourselves stuck.
We let ourselves be ok with where we are.
We don't allow ourselves or change or move forward.
Sometimes we get so used to our pain and feel like if we WANT to get well, it will be scary because being well is unknown. It's a fear of not knowing or being afraid of what wellness would mean.
----
There is also a reflection of this that refers to how we pray.
Are you praying for things to get better, but not letting it happen?
He won't be able to bless you if you are putting up a wall.
You can pray as much as you want, but if the bricks are still in place, you're not allowing blessings to happen.
Saturday, April 18, 2020
Invisible illness
when you walk into the other room and shut the door
though nobody knows
because you just have to cry
when people laugh when you make mistakes
when you say something wrong
or forget a word
and you laugh it off
but really it's hurting you
hiding
hiding in the pain
and writing about it
so you don't feel alone
knowing you're not the only one
but unable to touch anybody else who understands
anybody else who could share an understanding glance
or hold you while you cry
and not make you feel
like this
again
though nobody knows
because you just have to cry
when people laugh when you make mistakes
when you say something wrong
or forget a word
and you laugh it off
but really it's hurting you
hiding
hiding in the pain
and writing about it
so you don't feel alone
knowing you're not the only one
but unable to touch anybody else who understands
anybody else who could share an understanding glance
or hold you while you cry
and not make you feel
like this
again
Tuesday, April 14, 2020
I'm introspective
I was introduced to the word "Introspective" a few years ago and since then I've studied it a bit, and found it to DEFINITELY be true of me.
Introspection as reflection: The first meaning is the one that most people are probably the most familiar with, which involves informally examining our own internal thoughts and feelings. When we reflect on our thoughts, emotions, and memories and examine what they mean, we are engaged in introspection.
Introspection as reflection: The first meaning is the one that most people are probably the most familiar with, which involves informally examining our own internal thoughts and feelings. When we reflect on our thoughts, emotions, and memories and examine what they mean, we are engaged in introspection.
In everyday use, introspection is a way of looking inward and examining one's internal thoughts and feelings.
Cognitive biases are a good example of how people are often unaware of their own thoughts and biases. Despite this, people tend to be very confident in their introspections
Information comes from
Monday, April 13, 2020
Easter sunday, Elevation Church on Youtube
He is risen- INDEED!
He folded his linens, because He got up on purpose.
He was resurrected and He is still resurrection.
Dry bones can come to life.
Ezekiel 7: 1-14
The Valley of Dry Bones
The world has the worst message and they scream the loudest, Christian come in and we're all mumbly and quiet.
I've been weary and worried, Jesus is coming into my dry bones.
My 2020 word for the year- Follow
rolling away your own stone= opening up your heart
this is the sound of the dry bones rattling (Elevation music)
He folded his linens, because He got up on purpose.
He was resurrected and He is still resurrection.
Dry bones can come to life.
Ezekiel 7: 1-14
The Valley of Dry Bones
The world has the worst message and they scream the loudest, Christian come in and we're all mumbly and quiet.
I've been weary and worried, Jesus is coming into my dry bones.
My 2020 word for the year- Follow
rolling away your own stone= opening up your heart
this is the sound of the dry bones rattling (Elevation music)
Good Friday- Elevation Church on Youtube
What Jesus came to do wasn't to heal and teach, but he came to die.
That's exactly what His purpose was here on earth.
It's so simple a child can understand it.
But it's so deep, elders in the church can't wrap their mind around it.
The disciples/followers, why would they be surprised when he said he would do it?
The first person Jesus appeared to was Mary Magdalene.
Why? Because she was with him along the journey, she promoted was He was saying, she was the last to see him when he was put in the grave. She accepted his death.
She was also the woman Jesus had cast 7 demons out of.
I could never repay him- Jesus paid it all.
He paid with his life.. his blood, his body.
For the wages of sin is death
BUT the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus.
He was the lamb prepared for the slaughter.
perfect
sinless
stain free
And it's so easy to quote His promises until we are put up against a hard time.
But
Because he lives, I can face tomorrow!
He may not fix what I go through, but I can face it because of Him.
Because He faced it.. and took all my crap away from me.
Praise God.. I don't have to be afraid of anything I go through.. because He went through it.
He knows
He died for my freedom
And now He lives!
my daughter and my clothes
So recently my oldest daughter and I were going through clothes because she's growing again.. of course.
At the same time, I decided to get some of my clothes out and swap em out, since it's spring and we have had a couple hot days.
So.. she tried on a shirt of mine, and it made me think "oh no, we're the same size"!
Then she went in my closet.. excuse me, that's my personal space.
She pulled out a sweater that I bought for myself, and I'm generally not emotionally attached to these things, but I found myself screaming on the inside "put it down! it's mine!". I know my face wasn't happy and she asked if she could try it out. I told her no, but she begged.
She tried it on.
I cried on the inside.
There is a blouse that I will let her wear.
But keep your paws off my favorite things.
(deep breathe. autism.. anxiety spike. don't touch my things. especially something I bought for myself. I don't do that a lot.)
At the same time, I decided to get some of my clothes out and swap em out, since it's spring and we have had a couple hot days.
So.. she tried on a shirt of mine, and it made me think "oh no, we're the same size"!
Then she went in my closet.. excuse me, that's my personal space.
She pulled out a sweater that I bought for myself, and I'm generally not emotionally attached to these things, but I found myself screaming on the inside "put it down! it's mine!". I know my face wasn't happy and she asked if she could try it out. I told her no, but she begged.
She tried it on.
I cried on the inside.
There is a blouse that I will let her wear.
But keep your paws off my favorite things.
(deep breathe. autism.. anxiety spike. don't touch my things. especially something I bought for myself. I don't do that a lot.)
personal notes on Resisting Happiness- by Matthew Kelly
These are personal notes that I've jotted down while reading this book. If you like what you're reading here, I highly recommend purchasing the book. It is one that I will keep around for the rest of my life because there are lessons in it that I value to a point of revisiting them throughout my life.
Some of it is directly copied from the book, and some of it I changed a bit as a personal thought or revelation.
There is so much I am not covering that is amazing. This is a fantastic read.
---------
People do stupid things because they mistakenly believe those stupid things will make them happy.
This is the paradox that surrounds our quest for happiness: We know the things that will make us happy, but we don't always do them.
Writing makes me happy, and at the end of a good day of writing everything is better in my world. Still, every time I sit down to write, before i can even get a word down, I have to battle and slay resistance.
* seriously, this is me!
Do you cling to bad relationships? Do you have a lot of self-doubt...? Gossip, laziness, fear excuses, negative thinking, ingratitude, and jealousy are all destroyers of happiness.
Pleasure is a poor substitute for the happiness we desire. Nothing on earth can satisfy your desire for happiness.
Only God can fill the hole.
* Yes, the truth.
Only God can fill that hole that represents all our deepest longings.
. The desire for God is written on your heart. It cannot be erased;
. You are created by God and for God;
. God never ceases to draw you to him; and
. You will only find the truth and happiness you are looking for in God.
IT IS ONLY BY PLACING GOD AT THE CENTER FOR EVERYTHING THAT WE CAN MAKE SENSE OF LIFE. WHEN WE PLACE SOMETHING OR SOMEONE ELSE AT THE CENTER OF OUR LIVES WE SET OURSELVES UP FOR GNAWING DISSATISFACTION.
* I had this experience in recent years, a relationship that I thought was exactly what I needed in someone was wreaking havoc on my spiritual life and causing me to be ok with things that were not conducive to being a healthy Christian. I started being "okay" with things that weren't generally ok with me, but I allowed my guard to come down in multiple ways because I wanted to share their kind of life with them. But i started feeling dissatisfied and stressed and anxious and depressed more, and i always felt like if i said the wrong thing, they would be angry with me, and I didn't feel like i could be who I was supposed to be.
* I am learning so much more about where I am right now in life, and having to put that relationship on the back burner was very strange because we've been close for so long, but also learning that I was codependent and that it was taking away from how I connected with my husband and with my God.
* I am a better wife now, a better mom, and i'm hearing God more, and I'm feeling more free and unburdened. I pray for them often.
God is happiness. The definition of resist is "to withstand, strive against, or oppose".
GOD WANTS YOU TO BE HAPPY EVEN MORE THAN YOU WANT IT YOURSELF.
He has put you in this world for a specific mission, but first he has to prepare you.
You are not alone. You are not helpless. Take some small action. Resistance hates action.
Push it aside, ignore it, pretend it isn't there, but it won't go away. And the more you ignore it the more restless you will become.
IT'S OKAY TO BE DISSATISFIED.
*We learn from it and it leads us in a different direction, a direction of growth and change and maturity.
If you sense something is missing in your life, stop ignoring it.
RESISTANCE LOVES KEEPING US BUSY WITH ANYTHING BUT THE ONE THING THAT WILL MOST HELP US GROW.
Our lives change when our habits change. New habits bring new life.
THY WILL BE DONE.
What is my image of God? How do I see him? What are his attributes?
(I answered with my personal response to this in another blog post.)
HUGE
- WE LIVE IN A CULTURE THAT SAYS THE MEANING OF LIFE IS TO GET WHAT WE ANTS, AND THAT WHEN WE GET WHAT WE WANT, THEN WE WILL BE HAPPY.
- SOONER OR LATER WE REALIZE THAT GETTING WHAT WE WANT DOESN'T MAKE US HAPPY.
Being luke warm means it's easy to blend in. But the lukewarm also tend to choose convenience and comfort over what is right and just. They rarely talk about God or their spiritual journey.
CONSIDER HOW LITTLE WE TALK ABOUT SPIRITUAL HEALTH, IT SAYS SO MUCH ABOUT THE STATE OF OUR CULTURE.
Over time you will learn to listen to the cravings of your soul.
It is healthy to reflect on the fact that life is short and we are all going to die.
One of the greatest mistakes in history has been to go off looking for God in the extraordinary. God occasionally uses the extraordinary to get our attention, but since the beginning his favorite place has been amid the very ordinary things of life. A child in a manger- what could be more ordinary?
EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY, EVERY SITUATION, EVERY PERSON WE ENCOUNTER IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO BECOME A-BETTER-VERION-OF-OURSELVES.
*My Pentecost moment- 2020 my word is Follow.
Separating from my friend and searching for a path.
I searched for new meaning when I became disabled (this meaning back in 2017 when I had to make the choice to stop working outside of my home. I became legally disabled November 2019). Disconnecting with toxicity and codependency was a huge step.
You are called to live a holy life. And your work- whatever it is- is one of the primary tools God has given you to grow in virtue, become the-best-version-of-yourself, and live a holy life.
EVERY RELATIONSHIP IMPROVES WHEN WE REALLY START TO LISTEN, ESPECIALLY OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.
The most practical way to improve all our relationships is to continually become a better listener.
What are positive patterns in your life?
Do you know what you are hungry for?
Romans 7:19
"For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do."
You cannot succeed at anything unless you are willing to delay gratification. This ability and success are intimately linked.
We almost never regret delaying gratification.
You have the perfect personality and talents to fulfill the mission God is entrusting to you.
Too often we think of the self as something bad.
THE CRITIC WILL ALWAYS BE PRESENT.
WE LIVE OUR LIVES FOR AN AUDIENCE OF ONE: GOD. IF YOU ARE DOING WHAT YOU BELIEVE GOD IS CALLING YOU TO DO DEEP IN YOUR SOUL, WALK ON.
Few can imagine just how powerful perseverance is.
Some of it is directly copied from the book, and some of it I changed a bit as a personal thought or revelation.
There is so much I am not covering that is amazing. This is a fantastic read.
---------
People do stupid things because they mistakenly believe those stupid things will make them happy.
This is the paradox that surrounds our quest for happiness: We know the things that will make us happy, but we don't always do them.
Writing makes me happy, and at the end of a good day of writing everything is better in my world. Still, every time I sit down to write, before i can even get a word down, I have to battle and slay resistance.
* seriously, this is me!
Do you cling to bad relationships? Do you have a lot of self-doubt...? Gossip, laziness, fear excuses, negative thinking, ingratitude, and jealousy are all destroyers of happiness.
Pleasure is a poor substitute for the happiness we desire. Nothing on earth can satisfy your desire for happiness.
Only God can fill the hole.
* Yes, the truth.
Only God can fill that hole that represents all our deepest longings.
. The desire for God is written on your heart. It cannot be erased;
. You are created by God and for God;
. God never ceases to draw you to him; and
. You will only find the truth and happiness you are looking for in God.
IT IS ONLY BY PLACING GOD AT THE CENTER FOR EVERYTHING THAT WE CAN MAKE SENSE OF LIFE. WHEN WE PLACE SOMETHING OR SOMEONE ELSE AT THE CENTER OF OUR LIVES WE SET OURSELVES UP FOR GNAWING DISSATISFACTION.
* I had this experience in recent years, a relationship that I thought was exactly what I needed in someone was wreaking havoc on my spiritual life and causing me to be ok with things that were not conducive to being a healthy Christian. I started being "okay" with things that weren't generally ok with me, but I allowed my guard to come down in multiple ways because I wanted to share their kind of life with them. But i started feeling dissatisfied and stressed and anxious and depressed more, and i always felt like if i said the wrong thing, they would be angry with me, and I didn't feel like i could be who I was supposed to be.
* I am learning so much more about where I am right now in life, and having to put that relationship on the back burner was very strange because we've been close for so long, but also learning that I was codependent and that it was taking away from how I connected with my husband and with my God.
* I am a better wife now, a better mom, and i'm hearing God more, and I'm feeling more free and unburdened. I pray for them often.
God is happiness. The definition of resist is "to withstand, strive against, or oppose".
GOD WANTS YOU TO BE HAPPY EVEN MORE THAN YOU WANT IT YOURSELF.
He has put you in this world for a specific mission, but first he has to prepare you.
You are not alone. You are not helpless. Take some small action. Resistance hates action.
Push it aside, ignore it, pretend it isn't there, but it won't go away. And the more you ignore it the more restless you will become.
IT'S OKAY TO BE DISSATISFIED.
*We learn from it and it leads us in a different direction, a direction of growth and change and maturity.
If you sense something is missing in your life, stop ignoring it.
RESISTANCE LOVES KEEPING US BUSY WITH ANYTHING BUT THE ONE THING THAT WILL MOST HELP US GROW.
Our lives change when our habits change. New habits bring new life.
THY WILL BE DONE.
What is my image of God? How do I see him? What are his attributes?
(I answered with my personal response to this in another blog post.)
HUGE
- WE LIVE IN A CULTURE THAT SAYS THE MEANING OF LIFE IS TO GET WHAT WE ANTS, AND THAT WHEN WE GET WHAT WE WANT, THEN WE WILL BE HAPPY.
- SOONER OR LATER WE REALIZE THAT GETTING WHAT WE WANT DOESN'T MAKE US HAPPY.
Being luke warm means it's easy to blend in. But the lukewarm also tend to choose convenience and comfort over what is right and just. They rarely talk about God or their spiritual journey.
CONSIDER HOW LITTLE WE TALK ABOUT SPIRITUAL HEALTH, IT SAYS SO MUCH ABOUT THE STATE OF OUR CULTURE.
Over time you will learn to listen to the cravings of your soul.
It is healthy to reflect on the fact that life is short and we are all going to die.
One of the greatest mistakes in history has been to go off looking for God in the extraordinary. God occasionally uses the extraordinary to get our attention, but since the beginning his favorite place has been amid the very ordinary things of life. A child in a manger- what could be more ordinary?
EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY, EVERY SITUATION, EVERY PERSON WE ENCOUNTER IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO BECOME A-BETTER-VERION-OF-OURSELVES.
*My Pentecost moment- 2020 my word is Follow.
Separating from my friend and searching for a path.
I searched for new meaning when I became disabled (this meaning back in 2017 when I had to make the choice to stop working outside of my home. I became legally disabled November 2019). Disconnecting with toxicity and codependency was a huge step.
You are called to live a holy life. And your work- whatever it is- is one of the primary tools God has given you to grow in virtue, become the-best-version-of-yourself, and live a holy life.
EVERY RELATIONSHIP IMPROVES WHEN WE REALLY START TO LISTEN, ESPECIALLY OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.
The most practical way to improve all our relationships is to continually become a better listener.
What are positive patterns in your life?
Do you know what you are hungry for?
Romans 7:19
"For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do."
You cannot succeed at anything unless you are willing to delay gratification. This ability and success are intimately linked.
We almost never regret delaying gratification.
You have the perfect personality and talents to fulfill the mission God is entrusting to you.
Too often we think of the self as something bad.
THE CRITIC WILL ALWAYS BE PRESENT.
WE LIVE OUR LIVES FOR AN AUDIENCE OF ONE: GOD. IF YOU ARE DOING WHAT YOU BELIEVE GOD IS CALLING YOU TO DO DEEP IN YOUR SOUL, WALK ON.
Few can imagine just how powerful perseverance is.
Friday, April 10, 2020
dismissive? no.. distant
I have been accused in the past of being dismissive.. but studying this topic, I've found that because of that relationship being what it was..
trying to have a deep honest relationship with someone who believes and lives so different from me, I became distant in certain ways.
I've learned that when I was told I was being dismissive, the truth is I was distancing myself in certain ways because I couldn't connect and therefore it looked like I was dismissing things that were important to them.
separate belief systems- we were/are unequally yoked. Having intimacy in this kind of relationship is very toxic, and this is why in the end we found that we had to separate for now, and maybe later on, we can figure out a way to communicate.
separate ways of life- not seeing eye to eye on different topics and ways to live can definitely strain a relationship.
https://comingtolight.org/distant-not-dismissive/
Distant describes something that's far away, like another planet, a ship far out at sea, or the cousin who never calls or shows up for family events. Time, like miles, can make something distant.
People with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style tend to suppress and hide their feelings, and they tend to deal with rejection by distancing themselves from the sources of rejection (e.g. their attachments or relationships).
https://www.psychalive.org/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship/
trying to have a deep honest relationship with someone who believes and lives so different from me, I became distant in certain ways.
I've learned that when I was told I was being dismissive, the truth is I was distancing myself in certain ways because I couldn't connect and therefore it looked like I was dismissing things that were important to them.
separate belief systems- we were/are unequally yoked. Having intimacy in this kind of relationship is very toxic, and this is why in the end we found that we had to separate for now, and maybe later on, we can figure out a way to communicate.
separate ways of life- not seeing eye to eye on different topics and ways to live can definitely strain a relationship.
https://comingtolight.org/distant-not-dismissive/
Distant describes something that's far away, like another planet, a ship far out at sea, or the cousin who never calls or shows up for family events. Time, like miles, can make something distant.
People with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style tend to suppress and hide their feelings, and they tend to deal with rejection by distancing themselves from the sources of rejection (e.g. their attachments or relationships).
https://www.psychalive.org/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship/
Thursday, April 9, 2020
Periods are normal and healthy
https://www.webmd.com/women/ss/slideshow-period-related-to-health
It drives me nuts when people are like "eww! you're on your period" or like "omgosh, you're bleeding, I can't touch you right now" or "ugh, why do I have to bleed?".
Do you not understand that without your body triggering menses, it's actually unhealthy? This is a sign that your body is doing what it's supposed to.
Learn more and stop telling all the females that they are "GROSS!" because they are bleeding. That just makes them feel like they are less of a person and that it's a bad thing.
It drives me nuts when people are like "eww! you're on your period" or like "omgosh, you're bleeding, I can't touch you right now" or "ugh, why do I have to bleed?".
Do you not understand that without your body triggering menses, it's actually unhealthy? This is a sign that your body is doing what it's supposed to.
Learn more and stop telling all the females that they are "GROSS!" because they are bleeding. That just makes them feel like they are less of a person and that it's a bad thing.
an Easter prophecy
Zechariah 9:9
https://free.messianicbible.com/messianic-prophecies/zechariah-9/#.Xo32_i2ZNt8
it's amazing how God speaks to people in the past and shows up and does what it says
https://free.messianicbible.com/messianic-prophecies/zechariah-9/#.Xo32_i2ZNt8
it's amazing how God speaks to people in the past and shows up and does what it says
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
you'll turn around someday and bump into a blessing
this reminds me of my youngest daughter.
she is so quiet when she walks.
when she was younger, even now sometimes, she would follow me and i kept telling her not to follow me around because i couldn't always hear her and i didn't want to hurt her.
now the pro to her being so quiet when she walks is she could also be sneaky.. good and bad thing. lol
but i say this because she would stand behind me and i wouldn't know it, so when i went to move or turn to do something, i would smack right into her and she would fall or get upset, any number of things could happen.
but even though i reminded her not to follow me around, and pointed out to her that she walked very quietly so please don't stand around something that could possibly hurt her.
but this girl has also been so many blessings for me.
and sometimes, knowing she's behind me, means i can turn around and see her and love on her right then and there.
it made me be more mindful of my surroundings, too.
being more aware of our surroundings can be huge, because we don't generally look around us, we walk around with blindfolds on.
she is so quiet when she walks.
when she was younger, even now sometimes, she would follow me and i kept telling her not to follow me around because i couldn't always hear her and i didn't want to hurt her.
now the pro to her being so quiet when she walks is she could also be sneaky.. good and bad thing. lol
but i say this because she would stand behind me and i wouldn't know it, so when i went to move or turn to do something, i would smack right into her and she would fall or get upset, any number of things could happen.
but even though i reminded her not to follow me around, and pointed out to her that she walked very quietly so please don't stand around something that could possibly hurt her.
but this girl has also been so many blessings for me.
and sometimes, knowing she's behind me, means i can turn around and see her and love on her right then and there.
it made me be more mindful of my surroundings, too.
being more aware of our surroundings can be huge, because we don't generally look around us, we walk around with blindfolds on.
Tuesday, April 7, 2020
He is mine and I am his/biblical marriage
we share in our tasks
we share in our life choices
we share in our joys and in our sadness
we share in our activities, helping each other to decide what would be best for our family in all situations
we share in finances, figuring out bills and budgets.. he does the banking, i take care of the receipts
we work on our love languages together, giving and taking the best we know how
we work on learning about each other
we belong to each other physically as well, within our personal boundaries. it's so important to have healthy boundaries but still allow ourselves to be intimate.
we learn to love each other and DECIDE to love each other, whether we like each other at times or not. learning to accept each other in our faults and strengths daily.
holding hands and depending on each other for life.
ADDED 4/21/2020
it's not 50/50. we each give 100%. we each deserve 100% from the other, and if the other is not all in, it's an incomplete relationship.
it's life long learning.
we share in our life choices
we share in our joys and in our sadness
we share in our activities, helping each other to decide what would be best for our family in all situations
we share in finances, figuring out bills and budgets.. he does the banking, i take care of the receipts
we work on our love languages together, giving and taking the best we know how
we work on learning about each other
we belong to each other physically as well, within our personal boundaries. it's so important to have healthy boundaries but still allow ourselves to be intimate.
we learn to love each other and DECIDE to love each other, whether we like each other at times or not. learning to accept each other in our faults and strengths daily.
holding hands and depending on each other for life.
ADDED 4/21/2020
it's not 50/50. we each give 100%. we each deserve 100% from the other, and if the other is not all in, it's an incomplete relationship.
it's life long learning.
depression truth
i'm not suicidal
i never have been
but i have thought before that my husband would have it so much easier if i wasn't here
wondering if it actually matters that you're alive
if it makes any difference that i'm here right now
.......
this is what it sounds like when i'm in the dark
and it's not just me
i'm not the only one
anybody who struggles with a Depressive Disorder will understand these words and cry because it sounds just like them
i never have been
but i have thought before that my husband would have it so much easier if i wasn't here
wondering if it actually matters that you're alive
if it makes any difference that i'm here right now
.......
this is what it sounds like when i'm in the dark
and it's not just me
i'm not the only one
anybody who struggles with a Depressive Disorder will understand these words and cry because it sounds just like them
my husband is amazing
he makes me coffee, and knows just how I like it
he respects the time I need alone and actually helps me get alone time
we tag team as parents because we are an equal unit
he works hard outside in the yard, maintaining our vehicles, and still has a full time job and business
he's a great dad, showing his love to our children
he's honest and emotional, which i could not live without
he likes doing dishes and laundry (he does the washing, i do the putting away)
he admits his struggles and looks for answers
he knows his strengths and his faults and is ok speaking about both
he is respectful of other people
always wants to be helpful, and is open to learning in all aspects of life
he is supportive and tries his best to be open minded
he likes to cook, rides his bike, and tries to take care of his health the best he can
he is my adventure and my rock
and i'm grateful
he respects the time I need alone and actually helps me get alone time
we tag team as parents because we are an equal unit
he works hard outside in the yard, maintaining our vehicles, and still has a full time job and business
he's a great dad, showing his love to our children
he's honest and emotional, which i could not live without
he likes doing dishes and laundry (he does the washing, i do the putting away)
he admits his struggles and looks for answers
he knows his strengths and his faults and is ok speaking about both
he is respectful of other people
always wants to be helpful, and is open to learning in all aspects of life
he is supportive and tries his best to be open minded
he likes to cook, rides his bike, and tries to take care of his health the best he can
he is my adventure and my rock
and i'm grateful
"biblical" phrases
"let go and let God"
https://www.gotquestions.org/let-go-and-let-God.html
"patience is a virtue"
https://www.projectinspired.com/bible-study-why-patience-is-a-virtue/
"God will not give you more than you can handle"
God will definitely allow you to have more than you can handle, otherwise you would never have to lean on Him. There would be no need for a Savior if we could handle it all ourselves.
https://www.gotquestions.org/more-handle.html
"cleanliness is next to Godliness"
sure, we are supposed to take care of our bodies, especially if we are Christians, because the Holy Spirit is living in us so we are a temple, but this saying is not biblical.
https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/cleanliness-is-next-to-godliness.html
"God helps those who help themselves "
https://www.compellingtruth.org/God-helps-those-who-help-themselves.html
"submit to the law of the land"
Just because God told us to obey the person who is in charge does not mean He is ok with who is in charge. but yes, we are to submit and to obey unless it deters us from the truth of God.
https://www.gotquestions.org/laws-land.html
https://www.gotquestions.org/let-go-and-let-God.html
"patience is a virtue"
https://www.projectinspired.com/bible-study-why-patience-is-a-virtue/
"God will not give you more than you can handle"
God will definitely allow you to have more than you can handle, otherwise you would never have to lean on Him. There would be no need for a Savior if we could handle it all ourselves.
https://www.gotquestions.org/more-handle.html
"cleanliness is next to Godliness"
sure, we are supposed to take care of our bodies, especially if we are Christians, because the Holy Spirit is living in us so we are a temple, but this saying is not biblical.
https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/cleanliness-is-next-to-godliness.html
"God helps those who help themselves "
https://www.compellingtruth.org/God-helps-those-who-help-themselves.html
"submit to the law of the land"
Just because God told us to obey the person who is in charge does not mean He is ok with who is in charge. but yes, we are to submit and to obey unless it deters us from the truth of God.
https://www.gotquestions.org/laws-land.html
men versus women
so
men carry a small wallet
and
women carry a large purse
and men are grateful when they can ask a woman if they have something and TADA of course we do
when women use the bathroom, we cut the toilet paper off in a nice clean line and it's not hanging down
and
men want there to be a little tail at the end so they can grab it when they sit (which they rarely ever do)
men do their deodorant up through the bottom of the shirt, and get frustrated when they've already tucked it in, untuck it, exasperated, put on the deodorant, and tuck the shirt back in, still whining about it
and
woman know that we can just go down through the neck hole to put it in our pits, no whining and so much easier.
help me add to this in the comments :)
men carry a small wallet
and
women carry a large purse
and men are grateful when they can ask a woman if they have something and TADA of course we do
when women use the bathroom, we cut the toilet paper off in a nice clean line and it's not hanging down
and
men want there to be a little tail at the end so they can grab it when they sit (which they rarely ever do)
men do their deodorant up through the bottom of the shirt, and get frustrated when they've already tucked it in, untuck it, exasperated, put on the deodorant, and tuck the shirt back in, still whining about it
and
woman know that we can just go down through the neck hole to put it in our pits, no whining and so much easier.
help me add to this in the comments :)
How anxiety takes over and lies
When someone puts a sad face by a text comment, making you feel guilty for turning them down. (And you continue feeling guilty about it for days.) but you’re trying to be better at enforcing your boundaries and you feel like you did good. Personal pride doused by fire.
When someone just wants to sit down and talk with you about something that frustrates and angers them and you think it’s something you did and you mentally prepare yourself to have to defend yourself, but it actually had completely nothing to do with you and you feel relief.
do you own what you do or say?
do you try to put things that happen to you on other people?
or do you own what you do? do you take responsibility for yourself?
or do you own what you do? do you take responsibility for yourself?
How you make others feel says a lot about you
How do you make others feel?
as a mom-
I make my daughters feel like they have someone to talk to, someone that cares about them and they care about too, someone who understands. When I discipline them they feel upset, angry and confused. I make them feel safe.
What kind of person do you think you are?
I think I'm honest, trustworthy. Real, open, helpful. Sometimes naive and annoying, sarcastic but fun.
Does this line up with who you are to other people and how you treat them?
as a mom-
I make my daughters feel like they have someone to talk to, someone that cares about them and they care about too, someone who understands. When I discipline them they feel upset, angry and confused. I make them feel safe.
What kind of person do you think you are?
I think I'm honest, trustworthy. Real, open, helpful. Sometimes naive and annoying, sarcastic but fun.
Does this line up with who you are to other people and how you treat them?
Sunday, April 5, 2020
truth
I'm exhausted and it's making my snappy
I can't take a nap because I only have enough restless leg meds for night time, and I need to it to sleep. I can only afford to buy enough for night time because I don't have insurance coverage.
I'm struggling with insomnia, so even though I'm tired, and I go to bed, I lay there for a while before I fall asleep, or I come downstairs and sleep on the couch so I don't bother Brian.
I'm trying my best to rely on God and look at the positives and make the best of having my kids home all the time, but sometimes it's just too overwhelming and I have a meltdown because It's too much.
At least my husband is taking responsibility for when he keeps pushing my buttons and then I snap at him, and he walks away. But he knows I asked him to stop multiple times and He didn't listen.
It's frustrating sometimes when I have to take off my pants or something in order to sleep better, and then my husband can't keep his hands off me, so I don't sleep well.
….
It's not tiredness.. it's complete and utter exhaustion. And it doesn't stop. And you can't catch up. Sometimes I'll be grateful that I don't have to set an alarm and I won't. So instead of getting up before the kids to have some quiet time, I trade it for letting my body rest.
….
chronic fatigue does not go away.
it's always there.
even if you thought you are doing ok.. if you don't pace how you use your energy, it just drags you down.
And even the best husbands and kids can be in the line of fire.
….
I love my family, but this is so hard.
Doing my best to rely on God and take the best care of myself that I can.
I can't take a nap because I only have enough restless leg meds for night time, and I need to it to sleep. I can only afford to buy enough for night time because I don't have insurance coverage.
I'm struggling with insomnia, so even though I'm tired, and I go to bed, I lay there for a while before I fall asleep, or I come downstairs and sleep on the couch so I don't bother Brian.
I'm trying my best to rely on God and look at the positives and make the best of having my kids home all the time, but sometimes it's just too overwhelming and I have a meltdown because It's too much.
At least my husband is taking responsibility for when he keeps pushing my buttons and then I snap at him, and he walks away. But he knows I asked him to stop multiple times and He didn't listen.
It's frustrating sometimes when I have to take off my pants or something in order to sleep better, and then my husband can't keep his hands off me, so I don't sleep well.
….
It's not tiredness.. it's complete and utter exhaustion. And it doesn't stop. And you can't catch up. Sometimes I'll be grateful that I don't have to set an alarm and I won't. So instead of getting up before the kids to have some quiet time, I trade it for letting my body rest.
….
chronic fatigue does not go away.
it's always there.
even if you thought you are doing ok.. if you don't pace how you use your energy, it just drags you down.
And even the best husbands and kids can be in the line of fire.
….
I love my family, but this is so hard.
Doing my best to rely on God and take the best care of myself that I can.
meek , not weak
"a disposition to be patient and long suffering. subduedness. humility, humbleness - a disposition to be humble; a lack of false pride; "not everyone regards humility as a virtue"
versus
"1. the state or quality of being weak; lack of strength, firmness, vigor, or the like; feebleness. 2. an inadequate or defective quality, as in a person's character; slight fault or defect. 3. a self-indulgent liking or special fondness: a weakness for the opera. 4. an object of such liking or fondness."
-----
Being meek is to submit to authority, to show respect or reverence where it is due. To be humble, not to boast in oneself.
Being meek is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength, a sign of bravery.
It is not weak to be courteous and kind and submit to authority
versus
"1. the state or quality of being weak; lack of strength, firmness, vigor, or the like; feebleness. 2. an inadequate or defective quality, as in a person's character; slight fault or defect. 3. a self-indulgent liking or special fondness: a weakness for the opera. 4. an object of such liking or fondness."
-----
Being meek is to submit to authority, to show respect or reverence where it is due. To be humble, not to boast in oneself.
Being meek is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength, a sign of bravery.
It is not weak to be courteous and kind and submit to authority
when I decided to do it my way
back story- my family is full of talent.
my older brother is a pastor, a singer, plays guitar and
my younger sister sings and plays guitar
my mom and dad have both been in praise teams and choirs
and I also have a good voice and have sang on praise teams, gone on mission trips that required singing and dancing
…
but when I try to do what they do, it feels forced.
and it isn't generally taken the same
and I'm coming to find out
that I'm trying to do what they do
and that's not what I'm called to do
I'm better at speaking words that are placed on my heart
than singing
I'm better at spreading word through social media, graphics, creativity
those are my blessings from God
I'm just so used to trying to do what other people do
that I forget and lose the path that God gave me
when I conform to the "normal" of other people
He can't speak through me the way He wants to
He has called me to do other things
because I am not those people
Reminding myself that God gave me a talent for words
that others don't have
and He wants to speak to others through them
remember Cami
God made you unique
He didn't make you like others
He made you.. you
-----
this is rooted in my "always want to be acceptable" pain
being autistic, I'm unacceptable.. but to whom?
I'm created and accepted by God, just as I am
praise Him
this is rooted in my "always want to be acceptable" pain
being autistic, I'm unacceptable.. but to whom?
I'm created and accepted by God, just as I am
praise Him
Friday, April 3, 2020
thoughts on generosity
How would you describe your philosophy and practice of generosity?
What does that say to you about your heart toward giving?
Why do you think your job/role exists?
How might God want to use you in your role for His glory?
For me, being generous is sharing my talent and love of sewing. It's also about sharing my time with people.. being here to listen when people need someone to talk to, or some Godly wisdom or reassurance.
Sometimes me being generous is letting my husband take a little sip of my wine ;) or giving my girls one of my chocolates ;)
What does that say to you about your heart toward giving?
Why do you think your job/role exists?
How might God want to use you in your role for His glory?
For me, being generous is sharing my talent and love of sewing. It's also about sharing my time with people.. being here to listen when people need someone to talk to, or some Godly wisdom or reassurance.
Sometimes me being generous is letting my husband take a little sip of my wine ;) or giving my girls one of my chocolates ;)
my disability does not change my worth
Nick Vujicic FB live
https://www.facebook.com/NickVujicic/videos/2929665540428106/
Disability means an inability to function like a regular human body or mind, not capable of doing what other regular bodies or brains can.
Disability does not change my worth, though.
My worth is not found in how well my body and my brain operate.
My worth is found in how much God loves me, and what He thinks of me.
God made me perfectly the way I am.
And I am not unworthy of anything.
I am worthy of life and love and happiness.
I am worthy of feeling beautiful and I am worthy of His grace, because I know who He is.
He is my Father.
He is in charge of my life.
The world is nothing but a place I temporarily reside.
My soul is much more important than this disabled body and brain.
Therefore, disability does not define me.
It does not define who I am.
It does not define my worth.
My worth is defined by my creator, and He doesn't make anything that's no worthwhile.
https://www.facebook.com/NickVujicic/videos/2929665540428106/
Disability means an inability to function like a regular human body or mind, not capable of doing what other regular bodies or brains can.
Disability does not change my worth, though.
My worth is not found in how well my body and my brain operate.
My worth is found in how much God loves me, and what He thinks of me.
God made me perfectly the way I am.
And I am not unworthy of anything.
I am worthy of life and love and happiness.
I am worthy of feeling beautiful and I am worthy of His grace, because I know who He is.
He is my Father.
He is in charge of my life.
The world is nothing but a place I temporarily reside.
My soul is much more important than this disabled body and brain.
Therefore, disability does not define me.
It does not define who I am.
It does not define my worth.
My worth is defined by my creator, and He doesn't make anything that's no worthwhile.
What does God expect of me?
What God expects me.. is obedience to Him.
What does that mean? What does that look like?
Obedience to God means being who He made me to be.
For me, I need to be in the Word, connecting with Him every day on some level, and speaking things out loud to other people via text, in some way shape or form.. be that Facebook, a message to a specific person, a prayer for someone He puts on my heart.
Obedience to God in my life also means parenting with grace and teaching my girls to be mindful of each other and listen to what the Spirit says to them. Growing in patience and honesty and truth.
This also means to be respectful of my husband and to be responsible in my adult life.
Obedience to God in my body means to take care of it best I can, whether that means changing how I eat, encouraging myself to be gentle and learn and keep limits, being gracious with myself as well with what I can and cannot do.
What does God expect of you? And what does that mean in your life?
We all have a different life.
Know your calling.
What does that mean? What does that look like?
Obedience to God means being who He made me to be.
For me, I need to be in the Word, connecting with Him every day on some level, and speaking things out loud to other people via text, in some way shape or form.. be that Facebook, a message to a specific person, a prayer for someone He puts on my heart.
Obedience to God in my life also means parenting with grace and teaching my girls to be mindful of each other and listen to what the Spirit says to them. Growing in patience and honesty and truth.
This also means to be respectful of my husband and to be responsible in my adult life.
Obedience to God in my body means to take care of it best I can, whether that means changing how I eat, encouraging myself to be gentle and learn and keep limits, being gracious with myself as well with what I can and cannot do.
What does God expect of you? And what does that mean in your life?
We all have a different life.
Know your calling.
as the deer
This is how our soul should long for God
"As the deer panteth for the water so my soul longeth after thee"
when deer are in the woods doing their thing and they find water, they lap it up, gulp it up. and a panting deer will view it as an oasis.. life giving, and they drink like there's no tomorrow.
"you alone are my hearts desire and I long to worship you"
like the deer looking for water, it's a one track mind. we are focused on God, wanting to be immersed in worship with Him.
"As the deer panteth for the water so my soul longeth after thee"
when deer are in the woods doing their thing and they find water, they lap it up, gulp it up. and a panting deer will view it as an oasis.. life giving, and they drink like there's no tomorrow.
"you alone are my hearts desire and I long to worship you"
like the deer looking for water, it's a one track mind. we are focused on God, wanting to be immersed in worship with Him.
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