today

my struggle today is being able to think. really.. i'm having a hard time thinking. i did remember that my husband wanted me to cancel a subscription, and i was able to do that, but i feel like it was default mode. like i just.. did it. 

and i know i need to clean in the kitchen, so that i'm sure also will be default mode. 

i want to have music playing, but when i turn it on, it's too much. i even tried to change the type of music, and it's still too much. my ears have been ringing for 4 days straight, the sound of the street out front is reassuring.. i know i'm where i should be. my calendar reassures me that i don't have to go anywhere, so that's a relief. 

i have been working on my bowl of food for 30 minutes and now it's cold. but it's ok, because at least i know i was hungry and i made myself something. 

i have fresh coffee in the kitchen. i think it'd be a good idea to get a cup and sit down at the table and just be.