chronic illness bible study- answers that won't fit in my notebook :)

do you think the condition of your body affects the condition of your mind? explain
I definitely do. like when you're body feels pain, it creates limited brain function. when your blood doesn't pump the way it should, it creates foggy thinking, feeling sick and dizzy. and these are just two things that can affect you. 

have you every told anyone about your struggles? how did they respond?
(think of someone Godly to share your struggles with- my friend Chelsea)
my husband- he's trying to wrap his head around it. he likes to learn, so he'll ask me for simpler versions of it in order for him to be able to absorb it and talk about it to other people. (i'm into the details and medical terminology and stuff, he's not)
my BFF- she feels a lot of the same things i do. she also lives with chronic illness, so she understands. 
my friend Chelsea- another female friend that i can talk to, who is able to share my faith journey as well. 

do you feel alone?
is your loneliness: emotional
(the people around you ignore or reject your suffering)
yes i think so. 
especially being a parent, trying to be consistent with what i tell my kids, what we tolerate as parents, remembering pans and electronic rules and foods, etc. i think it's harder because up until a couple years ago, i was basically an active mom, and then more problem started piling on. we've had to have some talks because my communication and my brain power is being hit pretty heavy. i'm needing to ask for help for things, and i'm expecting the other people in the house to help pick up that slack. i have anxiety and depression adding to my physical and mental and psychological health, so yeah. it can be very emotionally lonely and draining.

for you, what is the hardest part of being alone?
the fact that i can't always talk to people and have them understand. even the people i connect with deeply, i can't always just be myself and talk about any of the things i deal with. i just feel like there's a lot i want to talk about or topics to bring up, and there's a verbal wall. (that's one reason i like having my blog and the ability to do a live video on my FB page)

do you feel you have to pretend you are fine to those around you? why or why not?
sometimes. because i feel like it would sound like whining, even though i just like to speak things out of my knowledge bank, just as information. being autistic, i like information and i like to learn it and speak it. but i can be a bit long winded about it as well. 

have you talked with God about your feelings loneliness? why or why not?
you know, until you said something just now, i don't think i have. i'm not sure why. i've talked to him about lots of things, being there for other people i know, helping them through hard illness days, walking with my husband through his time of searching, walking with my kids as they navigate public school as baby christians.. 

but no. i haven't talked to him much, if at all, about my feelings of loneliness. 
whoops. 

why is this so easy to forget?