"Once Saved Always Saved"

https://www.gotquestions.org/once-saved-always-saved.html

https://www.allaboutgod.com/once-saved-always-saved.htm

https://www.christianity.com/wiki/salvation/is-it-true-once-saved-always-saved.html

http://biblereasons.com/losing-salvation/

this is a topic i struggle with.
i have had friends who were in the church and now are not, and have adopted different ways of life.

i have had friend who are now closer with God than they used to be.

so for me, I'm hoping this is true, we all hope this is true.
But unless you call God your Father and follow Him in your life, and believe in His truth..
If you tell Him you don't need Him anymore
and/or leave the church and ignore and walk away from His teachings.. to me that's not a gray area.
It seems pretty cut and dry that if you walk away from Him and lead your own way of life, He is no longer part of you.
BUT he's always waiting with arms wide open to say "my child, I missed you, i've always loved you. I'm so glad you came back".