I'm so sick of my body right now. (COVID, female, chronic, parent, human)

monday started feeling sick, thought hey, its allergies

normal sick stuff

things I'm used to

a couple days later, feeling more like crud

whipped out my photo on my phone of symptoms and hmmm... I think I might have Covid 

(right now, I'm just trying to survive)

(I'm so unstable)

went and got the COVID test, quarantined to my bedroom.. found out 3 days later.. yup.

so then all my kids got tested, and they have it.

whole house quarantine.. except for my husband. so we are all stuck in our rooms and he has the main floor.. which he should. he's taking care of laundry and food, and running meds. etc. 

Then Tuesday.

8 days after I started feeling sick in the first place... I'm not breathing very well.

shallow

coughing

hacking

wheezing

I go into the ER.. I have pneumonia.

well that explains my left lung feeling wet.

so I'm barely walking because, of course, I'm hyper mobile and this is the week just before my period

I can't get into my garden because I'm sick

so I try anyway.. right? because I'm stubborn

and I throw out my SI joint.. 

because my SI joint went out, my hip is out

my spine is jacked, and I apparently dislodge a rib from coughing so much

48 hours later, lots of pain meds, lots of gentle movements on my yoga mat, heated blanket, resting, muscle relaxers.. I got my joints back to where they should be!

I got to spend a few hours sitting by my garden in a chair having people bring me stuff,  but hey I'll take it. 

And then the rain hits.

into the third day now, I'm having vertigo like crazy.

oh yeah.. the muscle spasms.

those are fun.

still a ton of mucous, its just keeps coming.

I finished my pneumonia meds and I'm not coughing much.. yay perk, I can breathe.

then I go to drag my daughter out of her bed and my knees (mainly my left one) feels like it just disappeared. 

(I so feel like throwing myself on the floor and flailing and screaming and just bawling and maybe projecting a few expletives right now.)

Oh yeah.. I have to be a parent, too. I have to make sure my kids are back in school online. because that was spring break. 

I did shower this morning.. and it felt like the weirdest bubble I've ever been in. 

I have to be careful with how hot my showers are because of POTS syndrome, I have to be careful to not fall over from hyper mobility, and I have to make sure I'm actually in reality from vertigo.

(oh my gosh!)

so now I'm in my room, successfully with both knees braced, compression socks, 3 pillows behind me because my back is killing me, my cane and my walker at the ready. because I've definitely used both in this time frame. and lots of tissues and easy foods.. that I can't taste. 

I'm brushing my teeth a lot because my mouth just feels so.. sick.. papery. like I ate a leaf?

So yes I'm whining.

and it's okay. 

because sometime reality sucks. 

and venting is necessary. 

today marks 2 weeks total. (that's it? it feels like eons)

and this is a lot better than screaming at everyone in my house. 

(believe me.. I've been holding onto prayer.)

dear Jesus.. thank you for social media.