(and that right there /\ is one main reason. my brain isn't functioning like it should.)
(and now i feel like my head is fuzzy. my neck still hurts. i'm struggling to focus on my task.)
(referring to my notes again- must have notes for everything or i'll forget.)
(my body feels so heavy.. wow.. all i did just now was take a shower [didn't even shave, my joints hurt too much and i don't have the energy] and put on some normal clothes instead of my PJs, grabbed my coffee and sat down)
another reason I'm not working outside the home anymore.. too many things my body is telling me I can't do anymore.
things take up so much of my energy now, and i don't have the strength to do things that used to be easy.
besides my physical body not being able to do it anymore, my family needs to be a family.
it's not ok when i can't be at home the same time my husband is.
it's not ok when he texts me at work saying "what do i feed them?" because i'm the one who knows what meals we have in the house.
it's not ok when my kids can't say goodnight to my face.
it's not ok when my house needs to be cleaned but nobody has the time to do it.
it's not ok that my kids have to go to a place after school where they don't like to go, that doesn't promote the same beliefs that i'm trying to instill in them, and then i ask them where they heard something or get a call because they're behaving badly.. and this could have been prevented.
it's not ok to leave our pets all day behind a door, even though I know they have what they need, but nobody ever has time to love on them- that's a crappy life.
...
confirmation. when we are out in the backyard on a beautiful crisp fall day, doing some clean up with trees and leaves, and a friend over to roast marshmallows on the fire, and my husband says "having you home on saturdays is so much more worth it than you getting paid to work and spend time away from us."
agreed, babe.
agreed.
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