“You play the flute so well, you should be professional.“
“You got such beautiful skin and eyes, you should be a model.“
“You have such a beautiful voice, you should do it for a living.“
“You do an amazing job with nails, you should go to beauty school. “
These things just make me blush, not want to speak or give a reason for why these things aren’t that big of a deal. Make myself seem small because I feel small.
Downplaying what I'm good at.
Because of the unease that I feel anytime someone compliments me or says something good about me, sometimes I choose to sabotage myself in the form of hiding what I’m good at or deflecting the praise to something else. I have never been comfortable with people telling me I’m good at something. Probably because I’m always afraid of being prideful, most likely a trauma response to being drilled with the idea of being humble to the extreme. When I’m in the mindset/frame of mind of healing, I say thank you and feel joy. But there are quite a few moments still when I feel the need to give a reason or to say it’s because of something else, not because of myself. These are self-destructive tendencies that I know I will struggle with my whole life. Thankful for a God who forgives me when I fall prey to putting down the things that he has blessed me with. When I simplify and brush off the talents that he has entrusted me with.
Working on just saying "thank you" and accepting the positivity, letting it feed my soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment