Masking - we all do it

You use your mask because you just want to fit in. We don't want to stand out.

Psalm 139: 13+14

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

You were fearfully and wonderfully made. 

A friend of mine watching my blog last week actually brought that saying up. 

Fearfully and wonderfully made. 

We feel self-conscious about being different. 

We are so afraid of how other people are going to respond. 

Honor one another above yourself. Romans 12:10

You are uniquely you. 

If they stare, let them stare. It's hard to blend in when you were made to stand out. 

Reminds me of a Rich Mullins song-
If I Stand

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

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This message made me cry. It came to me at the opportune time on Sunday, as I had put on a dress that I made to wear to church, and just didn't feel right in it (I didn't feel like I could pull it off, and in my head I was mulling through what they would think of me, being a new person to the church and not being normal, etc), so I subbed it for a vintage sundress. 

In the end, i'm glad I didn't wear the dress yet, because I really did need to adjust it. It didn't feel quite "finished". 

In general, I don't like to stand out. I just don't, it's not me. But the talents and abilities that God gave me are not the kind that make me blend in. They are meant to stand out. Unfortunately I struggle with that because being autistic, i'm a wall flower. I don't want people to see me. I don't like to have to interact. But if i'm my true self, I'm putting myself out there. It's not easy for me to be face to face and have to say things and have to respond and answer questions, etc. 

So I struggle with this concept a lot.