Chronic illness and intimacy

Something that is not talked about very often is physical intimacy, especially in the context of having issues with mental health and chronic illness. I’m not gonna get too detailed or anything like that, but it is definitely something that we struggle with. There are hormone in balance is, so bad sometimes that we have no sex drive, or very low libido. We can take supplements to help level out our hormones, and that helps with other physical issues as well, like with mine I take DHEA in a spray form under my tongue every night, and that has helped me with some skin issues, it has helped clear up breakouts on my face and chest, as well as being a little more fun and feisty with my husband, and I have a better sex drive now than I’ve had in a very long time. Not saying it’s super awesome, but at least it’s better than it used to be. But then another aspect is neurological issues, the hyper mobility issue, artistic issues (sensory overload etc.). If I’m not careful I can pop a hip out of joint, make my pubic bone shift out of place, even orgasm sometimes is isn’t a good thing because the muscle spasms actually create pain through the rectum, so sometimes I have to run downstairs when we’re done and pop some muscle relaxers in my mouth or I’m going to not be able to sleep because it hurts so bad.  I have extra pillows on the bed and also a makeshift spacer that I created out of a cut up pool noodle and a custom zone fleece pillow of sorts. Last night I kept shifting out of alignment so then my muscles would start spasming again but then I would relax and I would shift out of alignment again and then my muscles are spasming again so I had to move around in the bed quite a bit and prop myself up in different ways in order to ease the pain so I could sleep. I don’t think I fell asleep until 1:30 in the morning.

And of course this can be an issue in marriage because part of the fun of being married is being able to be intimate with someone in multiple ways. I didn’t used to have problems in that area, but one part of the after another and not knowing that my body was built this way, knowledge is very important. I guess in hindsight, it was a good thing I didn’t know until a couple years ago. Because there are a few things about the last 10 years of my life that I would’ve changed. And my family would not be where it is today if that were true. 

I’m very grateful I have a husband, a life partner, a lover, my best friend… Who is willing to work with me and learn about me and learn with me and each of us learning to adjust to different things, but always staying together.