Walk of Life: BFF- redefined

I hear my daughters say BFF all the time.. "she's my new BFF", "she doesn't want to be my BFF", "she's not my BFF anymore".

as they grow, i explain to them what BFF means.. they know it's Best Friend Forever.

but do they really think this person is going to be their Best Friend.. Forever?

forever is a long time.

let me explain something.

and i'm going to use my own life as an example.

BFF wasn't a thing when i was young.. at least not as much as it is now. EVERYone is calling EVERYone BFF now.. or so it seems. 🤷

BEST FRIEND: I hope you don't think this means you're going to have a lovey dovey relationship forever, because that's not what a best friend is. Yes, of COURSE there are many amazing times where you laugh with each other, at each other.. create new memories and inside jokes.. and talk about everyday things.. "my flowers are blooming", "i just got groceries", "omgosh that homework was insane", "did you see what he did on that episode?".

BUT a BEST friend is also going to call you out on your crap. Why?

Because they want you to be the best version of you.

They want you to grow and evolve and change.

People who are afraid of change don't generally have close relationships.. because *ding ding* they're going to be challenging.

A BEST friend is someone who is going to question you and challenge you.

Is also going to be the one who you share clothing with, and neither of you knows who actually owns it. LOL

(psst.. it's mine)

FOREVER: if you and this person can make it through 5 years of each others highs and lows.. then you're on the right track.

Your relationship will be challenged with other friends who come and go, it will be challenged with different view points, different beliefs, and (more now and than ever) differences in sexual preference and self identification. Honestly, I think relationships aren't "going the distance" as much as they used to because there's so much more diversity than is openly shown and spoken about now and than ever, and it's hard to wrap your head around it. I know for me, I've had so many life experiences now, i've had friends who were straight open up about LGBTQ lifestyle changes. I've had friends go through life altering circumstances with family and friends and health and children and religion.. I could go on and on, but i'm sure you get the point.

A relationship that can be open to challenges, changes and diversity... is rare. Marriages even don't stand the test of time a lot more now because of these things as well.

I am so blessed with my close relationships.. I have two best friends.

My husband is my rock. He is there, no matter what. Whether I have a panic attack and run away from home, or whether I am in pain, or i'm having a good day and want to go on a bike ride or work in the yard.. He is there. He truly is a rock for me, for better or for worse, as we change, we stay together.. we choose to love each other, no matter what. He brings laughter to my life, he's the other half of my brain, we both love motorcycles (i've always wanted a purple Harley) and bonfires and movies and we share the same beliefs. We are equal partners. We do our best to enjoy life to the fullest, and we still date. :) I can fart and burp in front of him and he just laughs. I'm never made to feel bad about my weaknesses, he always wants to help. He considers it a privilege to push me in my wheelchair. He likes to say "it's the only time i can push her around" lol. :) We love doing projects together in our home and going out for ice cream.

just because lol.. this is us.. never a dull moment

our on a friends boat

hot air balloon ride in Arizona

hey it's Elvis! also in Arizona

when he dropped me off at the airport to go to Colorado

motorcycle date weekend

our wedding in 2003

I have another best friend that i met the year before I met my husband.. and our souls clicked from day 1. We are so similar and so different. She is short, I am tall. She is an atheist, I am a Christian. Funny thing.. we got married a month apart from each other, our birthdays are a month apart from each other, and our children were born around the same time. LOL. She is vegan, I am not, but she opened my eyes to a different way of living and thinking, and I'm grateful for it. Ironically, we were both born with the same disorder (Ehlers Danlos, hyper mobility type) and researched it, found out about it and were diagnosed within the same few years! We love life together. We can say anything to each other, things we couldn't say to our husbands, even. Be both love tattoos and nature and are both raising all girls and hanging clothes out to dry and both have anxiety, depression and we both love coffee. We will try on crazy clothes at thrift stores and craft and drink wine. We have the deepest respect for each other.

I wouldn't trade either one of these for the world.