Having it all together

You know.. 

i was thinking the other day why i didn't have it more together, why life is so messy, why days bring so many emotional and physical ups and downs.. 

And i had a small epiphany. 

If I had it all together, There wouldn't be room for other people to speak truth into my life. 

There wouldn't be room for other people to speak wisdom to me, 

To show they care for me, 

To be there when i have a meltdown, 

To lift me up spiritually when i feel i have nothing left to give. 

If we had it all together, there would be no room for mercy or for prayer. 

We stumble and we fall.. and we rise up again.. because life is messy. 

I've come to the realization that I don't want to have it all together. 

I would rather be a hot mess with some great people in my life so we can "enjoy" the struggle together, and help each other endure. 

I'm glad I struggle. 

I know who really cares. 

Who just wants to say "hi" and walk away, and who wants me to truly cry on their shoulder and say things with no filter.