getting older.. and slightly wiser

well.. for the most part.. I can take things day to day. sometimes i'm more sore, sometimes there's too much in my brain.. but I can kind of roll with it.

But sometimes.. I can't. sometimes I feel too overwhelmed, or too tired, or just.. old. (which is ironic, but in general i don't feel old.. just tired.)

there are days that i just don't want to exercise.. because that requires me sweating and then, in the end, i have to make time for a shower.. which, let's face it, sometimes we just really don't feel like showering.

.....
then again there's that part of you that says.. "hey! it's ok to not do anything today"
or
"hey! you don't HAVE to go to the gym JUST because you have time for it"

yes, i have extra time here and there.. sometimes, i'm not sure what to do with it, so i waste it. just spend it doing non-sensical stuff.. like scrolling mindlessly through facebook, or...

but i just used SOME of that time to read my Bible, and print off some coupons, because let's face it.. it's so much fun to use coupons.
it really is a high.. to take them to the store, after you've carefully matched them up with the sales.. and when you're all done, you have bags of items that you know you'll use, and you're proud that you spent less money than you usually do. ;)

.....
but let's also face the facts that we ARE getting older. and our body's ARE NOT holding up like they used to.
we do have to take care of ourselves, or we will fall apart.

I can't keep in touch with friends like i used to, because on top of being a mom (which in and of itself is a huge hurdle to jump every day), running my own business, getting to the gym when i can, working at Kohls, making sure that I feel like i did SOMETHING productive each day.. we just can't find time for everything in 24 hours. Thank goodness for the day called "tomorrow".

which, in reality, may or may not come. we are not promised tomorrow.. God will take us when He feels our work here is done.
So please..

try not to cram every waking hour with something to do..
try your best to keep yourself healthy..
try to just do what you can as a parent to hopefully lead your children to a better tomorrow..
because really..

running ourselves ragged makes no sense.

trusting in God does.
because when we rely on Him, get ourselves out of our own way, and say "hey God, i'm only human, please take the wheel.. i'll follow You're lead".
trusting God.. makes life so much more worth it.

Mood booster :)

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Over the past few months, i've really been having a tough time with myself.. physical issues, emotional issues.. kind of figuring out where I am in life, what steps to take to move forward.. trying to make sure i'm following what God wants for me..

And i've had a few people in my life speak words of affirmation without even knowing it. It's been a great booster for me.. making me feel better about myself.
It's awesome how God works through His people.

1. I've been exercising more over the past year or so (started my "getting healthy" journey 3 years this winter).. and i've gone through some wardrobe changes, and right now, I'm in need of pants, dress pants mainly.
A friend at church this Sunday mentioned something about a bag of clothes in her car that she's taking to donate and I asked if i could see them first. Thank you God for that timing. :) I ended up getting a pair of tan corduroy pants (had to get rid of mine last year because they were too loose) and two tops. :)

She and I were also talking about our hair and how sometimes it's hard to get hairspray to work right, or curls to stay.. sometimes we could care less about wearing makeup.. and I mentioned that I wasn't wearing makeup and curl won't stay in my hair (that luckily, I had straight hair, it was easy to just brush it and leave it).. and she said "you're one of those people who's just naturally beautiful".

This was a wow moment for me, because growing up I had what I call "ugly duckling syndrome". I wasn't "ugly", really, but i wasn't the cute/pretty girl in class. I wasn't the popular cheerleader. I had big eyebrows and dark brown eyes, and long hair and goodwill clothes. So to me, I wasn't pretty.
It was great to hear someone say that I was naturally beautiful. :)
Also, my 5 year old picked my dress for church and it happened to be my special occasion dress, and I got quite a few compliments on it, one even from a good guy friend who's Mr. Stylish.

2. A friend of mine at work last night.. I was taking care of a couple customers and I heard her in the background and on the headset say "we're in good hands up here, Cami's here". :) That definitely boosted my spirits because it made my self-worth meter go up a bit. :) And I told her that and she said "well, it's true. you're awesome".

Also at work, my manager said she had to talk to me. (in comes the dread and the "oh crap, what did i do wrong?").
She said they were wanting to cross train someone for Customer Service, and my name came up. Asked if it was something I'd be interested in.
More self-worth booster.. I'm a valued employee, and they recognize that. Thank you God for a job environment that cares for their workers, and gives opportunities.

3. My husband sent me a message yesterday asking me if i could do something for him, and before the question even ended, he said "thank you". :) I definitely appreciate that gratefulness.. even before I do what he asks, he's grateful that I'm going to help him.

And I've noticed He's been more respectful of me lately.

Just thought of another one..
4. I have a customer who orders from me frequently.. and every time she does, she's very excited about the product I'm making for her. :) She loves my customer service. She shows off pictures of the products on her little ones, she shares my statuses, and she tells her friends.

Talk about a fan. :) I'm so excited and honored to have her shopping in my store. :) She can tell I love what I do, and her enthusiasm is really keeping me plugging along.

moving forward

A lot has been going on in our family. Some ups, lots of downs, and more "Everyday glitches" than we want.
Just finished a series at church about Small Things, Big Difference.. and it's really reminded me to just take things one at a time, work on doing better during day-to-day, hour-to-hour activities. Go the little extra mile here and there. It's really helped me feel better about my home life and it's been rewarding also on the God front, because one of the apps on my phone now reminds me to do my daily Bible reading. And another app reminds me to take my vitamins everyday and that's helped me feel physically better.
Reminding myself to take time for my kids more.. when they ask me to do something or cuddle with them, or just to listen. I'm trying to give them more and more opportunities and better attention.

the gym today.. my love language

we went over a study on the 5 love languages in our church small group, and my two main ones are Receiving Gifts and Words of Affirmation.

i definitely had some affirmation for myself this week. from the mouths of strangers.

an interesting development for me..
the kids have been at VBS (vacation bible school) from 9:30-12 all 5 days, so i've taken advantage of that time at the gym.. getting in from 45-1.5 hour workouts, and really pumping it up and pushing myself.

one of my favorite things to do is a plank, but alternate a regular plank with some side planks, some mountain climbers, some modified pushups, and adding 8" weights and rowing 10 on each side.

i had 1 lady earlier this week mention something to me about it, that she was impressed i could do that.
once she said that, it was almost like i had an out-of-body experience, like i looked over to where i was working out, and i could see myself exercising.. and it was like i was watching one of those people that you SEE at the gym that you don't think you could ever BE.
.. i've actually started to BECOME my own inspiration.. that felt very strange, but in a good way.

yesterday i was talking to a new gym friend about varicose veins and how i don't really wear shorts much because i think they're ugly. she got hers removed 3 years ago.. it was $13,000.. yipes. :( but it's good to know people understand what you're going through.

she was there again today, and she/we finally realized where we know each other from. she shops at kohl's. :) i work there. :)
and after i was finished working out today, another lady came up and said "i could never do that thing you do, where you're on your hands, pushing up, and then you ad those weights.. whew. you should be a personal trainer."

that really made me feel good.
i've been trying to push myself more.. strengthen my core, and my overall body.
i'm not doing it for people to notice me.. i'm doing it for my own health and well being.

but i also know that me feeling better about my body also means i look better along the way, too. and that DOES get attention from other people.

...
honestly, i've never been the kind to like personal attention. i've never pushed myself to do things BY myself, that people would notice.
for instance.. the motorcycle? i've always wanted a purple Harley Davidson. and now i have one. i have a hard time taking it out to drive because i know people will be looking at me. but i am working on that this year.. just doing what i love and what God is gifting me with. i don't want to live in fear of people looking at me. God WANTS us to be out there, being lights to the world.

a city on a hill should not be hidden, rather to shine it's light as bright as can.

i am that city..
as a Christ follower, I am that light.
and i need to BE that light, no matter what my situation.
my fears are superficial.

update on staying fit

well.. it's been 3 months (yikes!) since i last wrote.
a lot has been going on.

the last few months of school for the kids

i've had a lot going on with business.. praise God! secured a retail position at Squishy Tushy in Blissfield, MI, providing them with mama cloth for now, and down the road branching into different sizes of mama cloth, and my bibs as well. :)

we joined a local gym a few months ago as well and I have taken it upon myself to make sure i'm staying healthy.
i've gained 2 lbs of muscle and 2% bone mass (at least that's what the machine says at HerbaLife- which i got to try for a month.. not going to work for me).

so YAY! :)

also for the past two days i've been swimming laps during open lap time in the pool there.. wow, i'm out of breath pretty easily! lol.
my muscles really feel it.. i can do about 15 minutes (resting in between) alternating backstroke, floating, and front crawl

i'm really comfortable using the elliptical machine now.. whenever i go to the ladies exercise room, i always start out with walking a mile on it.

i've steadily kept off 17 lbs from when i started this journey 2.5 years ago.
in the process, i've done from a snug muffin-top size 12 pants, down to a 6/8, and i can wear some size small shirts now, whereas before i was close to a L.

...
i have to say i'm proud of myself for coming this far.
some days i still have to make myself do something physical because i just don't feel like it.. but in the end, i'm much happier when i do.

...
i've also found out that on top of having Chondromalacia Patella in my knees and Morton's Neuroma in my right foot, i also have osteoarthritis and i'm lactose intolerant.

so i have 6 different pills i take every morning, my "cocktail" if you will.. but i'm trying my best to stay with herbs and supplements instead of medications. i want my body to still have as much natural health to it as possible.

and my kids are also catching on to the healthier foods, and more involved with our food choices.
makes me proud :)

...
thank you God for the ability to move around and stay healthy.
thank you for creating an avenue and providing the payment to do so.
and thank you so much for giving me the want to keep my body a healthy temple for You.

your body as a temple

i found a new workout on youtube less than a week ago.. it's a Cardio Ballet 30 minute workout.. i've been doing it for the last 3 days (took a break from it today to play some music and do so free exercise).. but i'm really liking it!

i wanted to dance when i was little.. and my youngest daughter is in ballet.. so i figured.. hey.. i can STILL dance! i may be limited in my joints now more than i was then.. but there's nothing saying i can't still try :) 

besides.. i'm supposed to be treating my body like a temple.. after all, God created it.. and He lives inside of it.. and taking care of it is what we are to do as Christians.. 

so best i can, i'm finding ways to keep my exercise fresh, interesting.. not to stressful on my body, and fun :) 

trying to push myself a bit more. 

AND as of tomorrow.. we'll have a membership to The Centre (local workout/family location- The Christian Family Center)

so excited about taking advantage of an actually weight room with elliptical machines, bikes, treadmills, yoga mats.. YES i'm excited. :) 

my fetish, and life realization

nail polish ;) surprised? lol

sometimes i wish i could be a hand model :)
i love playing with color pallets, doing reviews for ladies that make polish
(newest one HERE)

and since i've been doing them a lot more often through the past couple years, expanding my horizons with different tools, brands, etc.. my nails and hands have gotten much healthier.

i think the thing i love the most about it is i can express how i feel through the different textures, prints, nail accessories, color combos..
it's like an art form to me.. and it's like how some people wear makeup.. they do different things at different times, etc.

it's like how i show my "beauty".. beyond my face.. beyond my heart..
beyond how others might think of me, or how i might even view myself..

playing with nail polish is an outward extension of who i am inside.

intriguing.. i think.
i love watching nail art tutorials on youtube.. (my favorite is Robin Moses)
different techniques i can learn..

it's great to have healthy nails again :) and to also make that time for myself.. to pamper myself.. and to try new things that i wouldn't have before. 

through this, and through experimenting with exercise and diet.. i'm getting to know and create a new, better me.