relationships

i just have to post about my best friend today.

there are two facets of my best friend..

my best friend is a man.
my best friend is my lover, my financial provider, a hard worker, a dad.. someone i can cuddle up to, kiss and tell "i love you". reminds me all the time i'm the only woman for him and he'll never leave me "till death do we part".
because it's true.. i am in love with him. and i am married to him.
we share the same faith and the same future.

my best friend is also a woman.
my best friend understands my emotions, talks to me every day, walks me through my thoughts, inspires me, challenges me and rejoices with me in the smallest things.
she is my soulmate.. we connect on a very deep level.
we also have the same chronic illness.

.....
let me tell you about soulmates.
Anne of Green Gables.
picture that.

"a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament.
a person who strongly resembles another."

a soulmate is someone you connect with on a completely different level.

(side note on this: i really truly hope my girls can find a best friend like this. my husband asked me once if it was ok that one of my girls and her friend were holding hands while they walked together.. yes yes yes! i want them to love each other and make deep connections.)
.....
There is a notion that i've thought my whole life to be true.. that your spouse is to be your only best friend and your soulmate.

This is false.
I'm finding some things I was taught growing up to be different than what I've learned more recently.

Yes, this relationship is to be considered the most important (spouse). A spouse is someone you should be able to say anything to, to be completely open and honest with. To share the depth of who you are with.
This is true and false.
Not everyone can handle every part of you.
There is a balance of trust in every relationship. And I am figuring out who can handle all of me, and who can't.

Trust: Reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone. One in whom I can place my confidence. Someone to depend on.

I've found that having a soulmate is a privilege. Not everybody actually meets and/or has a relationship with another person who is perfectly suited to them.. who so strongly resembles them that it's almost like having another version of yourself.

I found this, not even knowing it, in my Junior year in high school when the new girl and I hit it off. We clicked right off the bat.
We have had that deep relationship from day 1.
The thing is.. with a soulmate.. as long as there is mutual respect both ways.. you will know each other and love each other unconditionally for your whole life.
.....

God did an amazing thing for me.
He created my best friend.
And He did it such a profound way that I have the best of both worlds. I just feel so blessed that both of them were put in my path, and I said yes to that relationship.. twice.

Sometimes there is doubt, or tension, or possibly jealousy of one or the other.. but all in all.. my two most important human relationships are such a blessing.
Yes, sometimes there is a balancing act.
And I want to share my deepest darkest parts of me with both of them.

Hoping I can do this.. but it will take time. Because even I am still learning about myself. And I always will be.
And i'm enjoying learning more and growing more with both of them.