Tuesday, April 11, 2017

"cuss" words

The other day I used my first cuss word in a text to a friend about how i was feeling today. I was just honest and thoughtful and i sent it and i was like wow. It felt kind of good to just say that, just get it off my chest.
I was feeling shitty, I felt like a burden to the people around me because my health was crap. And you know what, i'm not cussing up a storm, I'm not uncontrollably potty'ing at the mouth, i'm being honest about how I feel and I'm learning that cuss words/swear words can be used in a mature way to make a point and that's ok. I've always felt myself that it was bad to use those kind of words (it is bad in a sense when you can't control it and you're just swearing all the time and it's like.. really? do you really have nothing better to say?) But when you're using it just like I'm saying "i feel shitty today", it's a very well placed word, and there's nothing wrong with that. And i need to feel better and more comfortable about being able to be comfortable in my own skin and express myself. I really feel like this was a step towards that today.
Another example is actually the other day we were watching a movie and i was cuddled up to Alivia, as usual. Under my breathe a mumbled that the guy was a jackass and she was like "oh my gosh, mom!" and then she thought a second and said "you know what, yeah he is". Her having that little revelation of "it's a bad word, but it describes perfectly what this person is doing/being" was kind of neat for me to see. She didn't smack my hand or anything, she learned from that experience.

Sometimes things will get really intense at home and I will very calmly (or maybe not so calmly) let the girls know that the crazy situation is making me feel very angry, or tell them i'm getting pissed off. I want them to be able to understand that it's good to know what you're feeling, to be able to communicate how you're feeling to other people without being scorned or made to feel bad.

I'm reminded of the ONE swear word used in the whole movie of Gone With the Wind, at the very end when Rhett Butler is talking to Scarlett O'Hara and says "frankly my dear, i don't give a damn". That was one of the most well placed words in any movie to date.

My husband and I aren't teaching our girls not to use cuss words, we're teaching them what the words mean, and if/when they are appropriate to use.
Obviously, since they don't understand a lot of that yet and won't be able to make those informed decisions for a long time, we are making sure they know that it's not ok to use those words in public.

I'm learning myself that "cuss" words can be used appropriately to make a point or to emphasize. They aren't necessarily a bad thing to say.. just knowing what context they can and/or should be used in, I believe, is a good skill to have.

Being able to control your tongue is the main thing.
Letting profanity run your vocabulary isn't acceptable. If all you do is cuss all the time, in my mind, that's not controlling your tongue.
And that's what God teaches.. controlling your tongue.
Also He teaches to let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is useful for teaching, correcting, and rebuking in righteousness, "so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work". Now i'm not sure if Jesus ever used what are considered cuss words, but I know he did get all up in some people's business. Flipping over chairs and tables.. righteous anger. ANGER IS NOT A SIN.

Now on that note, I do think there are some words people use that really have no place at all. But learning more about how to be able to communicate and use words appropriately.. is a big deal.

I know i'm rambling but i feel this is a good topic to discuss.

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