Sunday, January 1, 2017

Learning and Growing

So.. I'm excited and grateful for what this last year has been for me.
Especially within the last couple months.

First of all, my health.

Second of all, my relationships with other people.

Third and possibly last, really finding out who I am.

Healthwise, I have had a couple different things brought to light that might explain why my body has been acting the way it has more and more. I have osteoarthritis, my hips are whopper-jawed (have a double lift in my right shoe), easily have sciatic nerve problems, easily twist my ankles, shoulders, and have had plantar fasciitis at least twice (just now figured out what it was and my PT gave me some stretches to do).

There is a possibility of EDS (ehlers-danlos syndrome)- this seems like the mostly likely the more I learn about the way things are working and connecting. Also possibility of JHS (joint hyper mobility syndrome), Fibromyalgia, TMJ (temporomandibular joint disorder), POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome).. and i'm not done searching. I've been doing a lot of homework.
I've learned that it's ok to need to use certain things that support my body when needed.. knee wraps, ankle wrap, back brace, compression gloves, and (a big leap for me) a cane. 
I'm learning how to listen to my body, know how much energy I have on any given day, how hard I can push myself or if i need to rest. 
And being able to not take it to heart if someone looks at me like I really don't have anything wrong with me, even though I know it's more important to listen to what my body is saying. 

My relationships with other people.. hasn't been as hard as I thought. It's been hard to take certain steps, like clearing out certain people from my Facebook for instance. But it's been liberating and calming. Being able to clear the negativity from my life. It's helping with my anxiety, with my focus, with my parenting, with just the way I view myself. It feels great to just have more clarity and space in my mind. 

I also feel as though this has been helping how I connect with my husband, helping me be more intimate (not just physically, but being able to speak more freely and just be more of myself like I used to).

This has been a great journey for me to find out who I am really am, be able to dig inside my own brain and see how I really feel about things, what I really believe, my own opinions and views.

I feel like I was gifted with the ability to see the truth in anybody's point of view.. but that also makes it hard for me to know what I really think about things, as well.
So for instance, instead of reading pre-prepared devotions (which didn't seem like I was getting anything out of) I've started reading the "Verse of the Day" and recording my own thoughts and views on them and it's REALLY BEEN HELPING! I feel like I'm more connected to my faith, more connected to myself, and more able to connect truthfully and freely with other people.

I praise God for the opportunities I've been given this last year, the people I've connected with, and I look forward to more learning and growing in 2017!

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