Confirmation

 So I know I just got back to working retail less than two months ago… But I've been trying to get a certain job for the last two years, and they finally just hired me on. I start working at the Christian Family Centre tomorrow.

 It's nerve-racking and exciting for a few reasons. For one I've always wanted to be part of Lenawee Christian schools and their mission and just how I feel when I'm there. It feels like family.  For a second reason, they are not open on Sundays, the pay is better, the environment is fantastic, and I feel like I really have the ability to make a difference.  It really really fits me.  And for another thing, working retail for the last two months I realize that the reasons I left this job last year are still very pertinent. And I need to make my faith and my family more of  A priority.  Working retail, I basically have to fight to not work nights and weekends, as a Christian I am not supposed to work on Sundays, that is God's day and that is my families day… end of story. So I'm going to have to make a decision to leave retail  for good, because it just does not work with my family life anymore.

 I'm thankful for the clarity that I've gotten on this matter, it's definitely a hard decision, but I need to move forward and I need to put this in my past. For good.

 Something else that I have learned from this is sometimes we need to be broken down to be built back up. Over the last year I've gone from leaving retail to going back to retail because two other jobs that I had just didn't fit. I feel like I've had a lot of brokenness and now God is building me back up.  I feel like the reason I didn't get the job when I apply for it last year was because I had to go through what I've been through to learn more about what I need and what God is going to do in me .

Standing out versus fitting in

 I have this constant struggle with myself feeling like I don't want to be recognized for things, I don't want to stand out, I don't want to be pointed out as someone who did something amazing… I want to just fit in and not be noticed. But I feel like the reason God gifted me with what he did… Singing, sewing, a heart for helping people… That I am meant to stand out more.  It's definitely an uncomfortable feeling.

 I have to keep in mind that being a Christian, my life is definitely not about being comfortable. I have to step out in faith quite a bit and just trust that whatever happens, God's got the best for me.