I know you all haven't heard from me in a while, nobody might even read this page. But I feel like this is a good place for me to unload what is happening inside of me.
Within the last year I had found out I deal with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and depression. It has been very hard to deal with, as I feel like it has started taking over and replacing the "who I am" of me.
I'm also in a situation right now where I have been offered one of my old jobs back, but I am also still trying to find a good employment opportunity that would fit mine and my family's needs.
Right now I don't feel like doing anything, I feel tired, I feel lazy, I feel like no matter what I do it's not going to matter. I feel very sad and I don't feel like I have an opinion. It's very hard for me to make decisions on my own, I basically feel like my life needs to be multiple-choice so I can choose what I'm going to do from a list, not actually come up with something myself.
I haven't felt like crafting in a little while now, which is crazy because I'm a very crafty person. I love to scrapbook, I love to so, I like to do interesting things with my kids… And I have had no desire to do any of that for probably at least two months. I have stepped out of my role volunteering in my church nursery because I don't feel like I fit really anywhere right now.
I feel like things that I should remember easily, I just don't remember. That makes me very frustrated at home because if I forget something that my husband has asked me to do or a certain way something is supposed to be done, I feel terrible.
To Be continued ..