Tuesday, January 19, 2016

the one thing i don't like about my job..

i knew there was something i didn't like about my new job. and of course there's probably going to be at least one thing that everyone doesn't like about their job..

and i know what it is now, and why.

i don't like post-meetings. we do a meeting before each shift to go over what needs to be done, and a meeting after each shift to recap what we did get done.
i like the pre-meetings because then i have an idea of what i can do that day, what's expected of that shift, and it sets a foal for me for that day. i like that.

what i don't like is the meeting after. especially if it's been a crazy shift.

i have a habit of internalizing, overthinking, and not being able to slow down when things get hectic.. and that's when mistakes happen. i don't like the post-meeting because when i feel like i didn't do a good job, i don't need someone else to tell me i missed things.. i know i messed up. and i'm one to beat myself up.
so i have begun to dread post-meeting.. because i feel like i'm not doing a good enough job.

i know at the beginning they said it takes a good year to learn the job, and i've only been there 5 months now.. but still, i think i'm getting a handle on it pretty well. obviously i don't know everything there is to know about it, but i just can't really handle emotional pressure, or if i make a bad choice, or if i forget something..
i have TERRIBLE short term memory. and my cognitive memory isn't that good either.

i don't feel like i'm done writing on this.. but i just can't focus on it more right now. it's depressing

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